Only another 364 sleeps to go !!!

1st Christmas in our own house

Walking the dog at -20, remember to dress warm

Gizmo with his Christmas bone

No more turkey sandwiches for us, its all gone in the curry

Oh well the big day has come and gone, Boxing Day is here and its time to start eating turkey salads and try to walk off some of that Christmas dinner from yesterday.

Luke has been keeping hisself to himself, testing out all his christmas prezzies, hes now got is own fancy digital phone in his room that he can even send IM and IV across MSN, he's been running round filming everything with his video camera and it took both of us to set up his new telescope with its equatorial mount, barlow filters and other thingamywotsits.

Tonight we are setting it up outside and doing a bit of star-gazing, we got all the star charts ready and using Google Sky so hopefully we should know what we are doing.

I have heard there is a particlarly strong solar wind coming out of Uranus at the moment.........

Must have been too much Christmas pudding Muhahahahahahhah !!!

Anyway its pretty much cloudless at the moment and its just dropping dark, weve just come back from walking Gizmo, there is a fantastic path towards the south end of town and thats the one we normally use. Trouble is though not many people have used it recently so it was a case of trudging thru snow about 2 feet deep, we marched a mile out towards the resevoir but when we got there we were all exhausted, even Gizmo was knackered and covered in snow, in the deep bits he completely disapeared, he absolutely loved it. Anyway we decided to use the roads to come back in and i think even Gizmo was glad.

Gizmo is on the sofa at the moment cuddling his Christmas bone, i dont reckon he will move now for the rest of the night.

Winter freakin' Wonderland

Okay thats it i am officially bored with the snow, can somebody please now take it all away. Its 10:00 in the morning and i have managed to get the car stuck in 3 snow drifts. The first time was when i dropped Jan off at work, i tried to take a short cut round the servicing bay and hit some deep snow, i thought if i hit it at a bit of a run i could just slide thru it. This worked fine for the first 6 feet then i ground to a halt.

Luckily a bit of deft direction changing, waggling the steers and some swearing did the job and about 5 minutes later i got thru it. Trouble was i was now on a good piece of road but with deep snow in fron and behind.

There was only one thing for it, i hit the gas, there was a spinning of wheels, a big cloud of powdered snow and as the cloud cleared i was miraculasly on the other side of the drift.

The second time was back in Raymond, there was a bit of deep snow between me and where i wanted to be so i over confidently hit it fast and again ended up stuck in the middle. This time i knew excactly what to do...............

Rock the gears, waggle the steers and swear really loudly, and yes it worked again.

The third time was on purpose (okay more on purpose) i was helping out a friend by giving them a boost, the cables were only 12 foot so i had to get right up their drive, and there was a snow drift either side. The plan was to stick my car in the snow drift, boost his truck and he pulls me out, excellent plan eh?

Well i must say i did an excellent job of getting the car stuck again, right up to the headlights. This time it took a few swings of a snow shovel and a bit of a shove to get me going again.

Now i am back a home and enjoying a bacon sadwich and a french vanilla coffee.

The Cup 'n Saucer

Met up with Steve W today and went over to the Cup 'n Saucer for a coffee and a bite to eat.

This quaint little coffee shop is owned by Marga, who is Steve's better half. Anyway, in we went and sampled the culinary delights within.

I was amazed with this place, its got a sort of European theme and seems half English and half dutch, which is hardly surprising since Steve is English and Marga is Dutch.

If you go in there try the Italian coffee, it is beautifully presented and tastes great. Marga makes all the food herself, try the garlic dip it is superb.

They do a fantastic English breakfast too so why not get yourselves down there and give it your support.

The Cup' N Saucer
309 - 7 Street South
Lethbridge

AB T1J 0P1

Canada

Snow Banks at Walmart

Got Snow ???

Accepted For Permanent Residency

At last, just got an email thru from CIC, our application for PR has been accepted. This is a huge weight of our shoulders as it means we are good to stay in Canada. Up to now we have been on Temporary Work Permits which means you can only stay for 24 months then you have to leave for 4 months.

There are also other implications if we didnt get accepted, like when our present visas run out, jan would lose the right to work, we would not get permenant SIN numbers which makes obtaining credit difficult.

So thats it the waiting is over, all we got to do now is send our passports off to Seattle and when they come back we have to take a little trip down to the border, go round the flagpole and re-enter Canada to be welcomed back as Permenant Residents.

Gizmo in the snow

Goldfish funeral - enjoy

Calling Tony Beales

Hey matey

send me an email ilost your email address

Famous Lyndons Trucking Life Blog Readers

One of the fantastic things about writing a journal such as this, is that you have the chance to reach out to people from all round the world. This includes some unexpected but yet still very, very welcome important people.

I was just checking out my site meter and i noticed one of my more famous readers.

I would like to say "Thankyou Ma-am" for showing an interest in writings of one of your subjects, its an honour to show you a window into my life.

Merry Christmas to you and Prince Phillip and the same to the rest of your family, hope you have a wonderfull holiday and continue to read my blog.

PS. Do you really get a gift of Saskatoonberry jam from the people of Saskatchewan every year, i tried some in the summer and its fantastic on crusty bread (but im sure you already know that)

Lyndon xxx

Life in the slow lane

The Venue

Famous For Ribs


What I would order if Jan let me

Yep my garden is somewhere under there

My very depleted and snowy woodpile

More pallets to cut up

Note to Canadian Dogs - dont leave toys out in

the garden coz if it snows you lose em

"Yes Gizmo, thats the power chord to the

Christmas lights, and no you can't eat it !!".

Well its Monday morning, ive just took jan to work and im too wake to go back to bed. With a freshly brewed coffee (Tim Hortons & french vanilla cream) and the possibility of a bacon sandwich later i thought i would share a few observations with you about life in Canada, in winter, in Raymond, in the trucking business............ and away from the truck.

As you know i have finished now till 28th although Jan has only got 2 days off, one of those being Christmas day. We have just emerged from the weekend and it came and went frighteningly quick. Its not as though we actually did anything specific, Friday night we planned to go out for a meal, as usual Luke got the privelage of choosing the venue, and as usual it ended up being Montanas, we tried suggesting other resaurants, we even tried bribery but no, Montanas it had to be, he loves it there coz the food is excellent and he gets to draw on the table while we are waiting for the food, well we got there and it was closed for refurbishment, so poor old Luke had to choose again.

Luke couldnt decide, Jan wanted to go to East Side Marios and i wanted to go to Tony Romas, in the end i won and Tony Romas in was.

Its the first time we had used the place, it was pretty good, the head waiter and our server seemed to have a little communication issue and ended up confusing each other which was mildly amusing so they only get 7/10 for service. The food was excellent, Jan and I both plumbed for the Prime Rib, mash potatoes, gravy, corn and a side of coleslaw and Luke sampled the southern fried chicken and we shared a starter of a platter of spicy fried shrimp. The food gets 10/10 and there was plenty of it. The whole lot was a tad over $100 so its not particularly cheap but for the quality of food we would proberbly go there again, 8/10 for value for money.

So that was the extent of our planned weekend, the rest of the time was late mornings followed by leisurely breakfasts, drives into Lethbridge to get last minute presents and bitznbobz that we had forgotten, a little bit of snow shovelling and watching a few movies...........

So why the heck did it go so fast ???

Anyway its gone now so its a snowy, wintery Monday morning in Southern Alberta, it was snowing again as i drove Jan in to town. The roads were a bit dicey with a light covering of powdery snow, 80 kph was the order of the day, it couldnt have been too bad, i only passed one car in the ditch.

Mark Campbell on CJOC-FM "The Lounge" was telling us that snow was falling (no shit sherlock) and the temperature was -23 but with the wind chill it felt like -35.

Not in our car it doesnt Mr Campbell, the heater's on full blast and the butt warmers in the seats were doing their jobs well so it was toasty bottoms all round.

Ive just took a peek thru the blind (behind me in the lounge) and its just getting light which reminds me, my next little chore is to grab some more firewood and stack it in the den, i think i am going to have to cut some more this afternoon, we've got about 15 pallets behind the garage to cut up and my once huge woodpile is looking a bit dwindly (thats not a real word but it describes the woodpile perfectly)

We have used the wood burner a lot over the last few days and i think i may have over done it slightly, i literally shove as much wood in the furnace as will physically fit and the thing with wood burners is unlike a gas fire, you cant turn them up or down. Luke complains it is too hot in the den and Jan goes round opening windows after me and im back down there stoking the flames like Casey Jones' manic fireman ( i think thats what you call them, you know the guy i mean, the one on the steam train who shovels the coals)

I cant believe how fast time is going, this is our second Christmas in Canada and i really does feel as though we have only been here a few months, i just wish Jan had a little more time off. This blog will be 2 years old next month too, i still sometimes go back thru it and reminisce, there has been so much water under the bridge since we first got the idea to come over here. We are just about at the end of our PNP application now, everythings been done and sent away, all we are waiting for now is the "Yes" or "No".

Im not sure what would happen if they said no, of course we would be devastated but at least at the moment we know we are safe until the middle of 2010. Apparently the immigration people at Seattle are snowed under with applications and the waiting lists are ever growing. I got a message that they are even asking people not to turn up in person to get passports stamped. The other option is to send them off and that used to take about 10 working days, at the moment it is taking about 20 days.

The frustrating thing is, all of this that has happened so far has been done with our own hard work and determination, we made it happen and we were in control. This one thing (PNP) is totally out of our hands, we are at the mercy of the authorities. Im not sure what is more frustrating, the waiting or the fact that i have no control over it.

So what do i think the future holds for us....................

In the long term i have no idea, i think we wil have to leave Fate in charge for a while.

In the short term i think the answer is Curry.......................

Yep its definitely curry, i picked up 2 kilo of chicken thighs over the weekend so this morning i am going to use the slow cooker and make a Chicken Rogan Josh, that should be a nice surprise for Jan when she gets home tonight, Chicken Rogan Josh on a bed of wild rice served with chopped onion and tomato, and a side of mango chutney.

Interesting Factoids

Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil).

An atomic clock is accurate to within 1 second in 1,7 million years.

Thomas Cook, the world's first travel agency in the world, was founded in 1850.

A fathom is 1,8 metres (6 feet).

There are more TV sets in the US than there are people in the UK.

Before the year 1000, the word "she" did not exist in the English language. The singular female reference was the word "heo", which also was the plural of all genders. The word "she" appeared only in the 12th century, about 400 years after English began to take form. "She" probably derived from the Old English feminine "seo", the Viking word for feminine reference.

There are no letters assigned to the numbers 1 and 0 on a phone keypad. These numbers remain unassigned because they are so-called "flag" numbers, kept for special purposes such as emergency or operator services.

After the French Revolution of 1789 selling sour wine was considered against national interest and the merchant was promptly executed.

For 3000 years, until 1883, hemp was the world's largest agricultural crop, from which the majority of fabric, soap, paper, medicines, and oils were produced.

George Washington and Thomas Jefferson both grew hemp. Ben Franklin owned a mill that made hemp paper. The US Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

The word malaria comes from the words mal and aria, which means bad air. This derives from the old days when it was thought that all diseases are caused by bad, or dirty air.

The names of all the continents end with the letter they start with.
On every continent there is a city called Rome.
The oldest inhabited city is Damascus, Syria.
The first city in the world to have a population of more than one million was Rome: see History 303
The most populated city in the world - when major urban areas are included - is Tokyo, with 30 million residents.
Tokyo was once known as Edo.

The pin that holds a hinge together is called a pintle.

The Vatican is the world's smallest country, at 0,44 square km (0,16 square miles).

The US flag displays 13 stripes - for the original 13 states.

To most Americans, the orient is China, Japan, Korea and Vietnam; to Europeans it is the area of India and Pakistan.

The words "electronic mail" might sound new but was introduced 30 years ago. Queen Elizabeth of Britain sent her first email in 1976.

Some 190 billion emails are sent daily - more than 2 million per second - by 1,2 billion email senders. About 70% (133 billion emails) are spam and viruses. There are about 1,4 billion registered email addresses.

Eskimos use refrigerators to keep food from freezing.

MasterCard was originally called MasterCharge.

Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon with his left foot first.

The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

Lightning strikes men about seven times more often than it does women.

Women make up 49% of the world population.

About 50% of Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace. This is called propinquity.
The pleasant feeling of eating chocolate is caused by a chemical called anadamide, a neurotransmitter which also is produced naturally in the brain.

From the Middle Ages until the 18th century the local barber's duties included dentistry, blood letting, minor operations and bone-setting. The barber's striped red pole originates from when patients would grip the pole during an operation.

The US nickname Uncle Sam was derived from Uncle Sam Wilson, a meat inspector in Troy, New York.

The living does not outnumber the dead: since the creation about 60 billion people have died.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

Midday refers to the moment the sun crosses the local meridian.

Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 metres.

It is not true that the Great Wall of China is the only man-made structure that can be viewed from space - many man-made objects, including the Dutch polders, can be viewed from space.

Would a beaver really bite off his own testicles

This is a question that is puzzling me at the moment, i heared recently that a beaver will bite off his own "Beggars Purse". I have researched this phenomenon and im still confused. Apparently Aesop (the fairy-tail guy) wrote about it and i have found pictorial evidence. Apparently Aesop was a drinker and a pervert (can i be sued for writing that) so with that in mind i have to say its pretty believeable, 'i'll buy that for a dollar".

General Attributes
The beaver is hunted for its testicles, which are valued for making medicine. When the beaver sees that it cannot escape from the hunter, it bites off its testicles and throws them to the hunter, who then stops pursuing the beaver. If another hunter chases the beaver, it shows the hunter that it has already lost its testicles and so is spared.

In dietary law
In the 17th century, based on a question raised by the Bishop of Quebec, the Roman Catholic Church ruled that the beaver was a fish (beaver flesh was a part of the indigenous peoples' diet, prior to the Europeans' arrival) for purposes of dietary law. Therefore, the general prohibition on the consumption of meat on Fridays during Lent does not apply to beaver meat. The legal basis for the decision probably rests with the Summa Theologica of Thomas Aquinas, which bases animal classification as much on habit as anatomy.

Wincanton Employees left out in the cold

I know we have been away from UK for a year and a half now but i still keep in contact with a few friends back at Wincanton in Gloucester. Naturaly i was horrified when i found this on the internet.

My heart goes out to the families of both the drivers and the warehouse staff, the timing of this announcement just beggars belief. I hope you all find alternate work quickly and dont let it spoil your Christmas too much.

Merry Xmas and good luck to all of you from across the pond.

Here is one of the excerpts, its short and pretty much to the point.

Gloucestershire suffered an unemployment bombshell today after
Wincanton announced it was closing its distribution centre at Gloucester Business
Park with the loss of 450 jobs.
Managers at the Brockworth site were told the
shock news this morning following the merger of Wincanton’s chilled food
distrubution business with Culina Logistics which will take over the
work.
Wincanton will close its operations at Gloucester Business
Park and Trafford Park, probably in April. Wincanton’s group marketing director
Holly Porter said the closure of the sites was “extremely disappointing” and
efforts would be made to minimise the impact on employees and their
families.

And the sentiments of one family says it all

Nice to know the managers had a xmas bash the day after the news broke out. We all left now wondering about our future and how the hell we going to pay our bills and the managers seem to have jobs elsewhere??????????? Plus have found out cos my partner not worked there for 2 years he may be given just 1 week notice! O how the news gets better. xx
partner of a wincanton employee, glos.

Republic Of Cascadia

A little while ago i made some jokey comments about being a Cascadian, little did i know that there is a place of the same name and although its not officially recognised, its definetly there. Here are a few factoids about the place.

Statistics of the Republic of Cascadia:

Name: The Republic of Cascadia (long form), Cascadia (short form)
Capital: Cascadia
Area: 855,762 sq km
Population: 14,220,981 (2005 est)
GDP: US$323 billion (1996 est)
Language: Cascadese (a dialect of English)

Time System: Metric Time
The Republic of Cascadia stretches from 42° to 60° north latitude. Its western border consists of the Pacific coast and a portion of the American state of Alaska. On the east, it borders the American states of Idaho and Montana and the Canadian province of Alberta. Cascadia is divided into three prefectures: British Columbia, Oregon, and Washington.

Government:
Cascadia is a constitutional republic that guarantees its citizens their basic rights, including freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and the right to a fair trial with a jury of peers. It has a strong democratic tradition and universal suffrage. The seat of the national government is in the capital city of Cascadia, which is tucked safely away from centers of urban decadence.

Resources:
Cascadia has abundant natural resources. Vast forests provide it with ample timber for both export and domestic use. Rich fish and shellfish stocks also supply valuable exports as well as powerful brain-food for its citizens. Raging rivers and vulcanism offer cheap and renewable forms of hydrodynamic and geothermal power generation. Its many harbors and protected waterways give Cascadia an edge when it comes to trans-Pacific shipping.

Its natural resources are exceeded only by its industrial resources. The Cascadian software and biotechnology industries lead the world in innovation and market-share dominance. Cascadian-produced software is on 97% of the world's computers, and that figure will continue to rise. (Although it has not yet achieved sheep-cloning technology, it is close -- watch out Scotland!)

The Republic of Cascadia is a nuclear power with the ability to process weapons-grade plutonium and also advanced missile technology. Cascadia has the facilities and technical expertise to produce a wide range of fighter, support, and commercial aircraft, as well as space vehicles. Besides being a global leader in vehicle technology, Cascadian industry is also developing sea-based launch capabilities for orbital payload delivery and possible lunar conquests.

But why conquer the moon when you can win the stars? The Republic of Cascadia has long been sought by movie and TV producers for use in location shooting -- and even production work -- because of its scenic beauty; commercially popular image; and cheap, non-union labor. This is just a part of Cascadia's plan to become a global media powerhouse, the likes of which Hollywood couldn't imagine. Cascadia has a proven track-record in producing trends in music, fashion, food, and other forms of product consumption, which it can profit from by building on its brand recognition and loyalty.

Furthermore, with its space program providing satellite technology and its software industry providing cutting-edge Internet technology, Cascadia is poised to control the means of infotainment distribution -- and thereby consumer demand -- on a global scale.

The Republic of Cascadia is not yet officially recognized by Canada, the United States of America, or the United Nations. Not that it is any of their business.

Finished till after Christmas

Well thats it, my last trip done till after the Big Guy (Santa) has been and it really is good to have a week (and a bit) off. I was supposed to finish on the 20th but i got back a day and a half early so that was that.

As you know it was a mentor trip with Padraic, Lethbridge to Chicago, Chicago to Toronto, Toronto to Saskatoon, Saskatoon to Calgary, Calgary to Lethbridge.

Just before Saskatoon the truck started to play up again and we started to get warning lights and a few times the engine acually cut out. We limped into Calgary, tipped the load and scooted round to Detroit Diesel for a hook up to the diagnostic computer.

Half an hour later the keys were handed back to me and we headed back to the Bridge. Half way back the warning lights came back on again so poor old 2148 is spending Christmas back at the Freightliner shop.

Has anyone else got one of these DD15 engines in their truck, i would be very interested in hearing any comments about it, especially with reference to cold weather running.

Anyway like i said im back home now and i got a new camera, and as usual when i get a new camera i am being a complete pain in the ass by photographing anything that does or doesnt move.

We got Snow Boots

Well as we say in colder climes.........

Winter draws on.......................................

Last year i worked thru the winter in just a pair of Walmart $20 sneakers and to be quite honest i thought they did the job pretty well although if i remember correctly i did end up on my ass a few times.

This year we are correctly kitted out, warm coats, quilted trousers, warm hats, toasty gloves and the latest addition to our wardrobe is our snow boots.

Beer, dogs & hats dont mix

Okay okay before we get any e-mails from any green, tree hugging, herbal tea drinking friends of the earth. No animals were harmed in the making of this post, the camera was made from recycled whachamacallits, the hat was made from the skin of the famous Polyester Bear which apparently is very common in Canada and its body part bi-products are used in many items of essential clothing and mainly found in Walmart.

The only animal affected in the writing of this article was a certain black labrador/spaniel cross called Gizmo who was initially happy to collaborate with the promise of 2 slices of roast beef out of his favourite cupboard (the fridge) although it must be said that this little "Diva" did start to get a little bored after about 3 seconds and a certain amount of force had to be excerted to make him pose.............

So sue me .............................................................................

PS. yep you guessed it, Lyndon has now moved his ass into town and got a new camera, you just know the pictures will start flowing in again 8-)

Let it snow, let it snow, let it.... okay, okay thats enough already

Just a quick update, had a few days off (as usual) then it was another dash south, this time it was another mentoring trip with a new driver who has just come aross from the Siemens Group, i think he was based at Saskatoon. Anyway he is part of the Big Red Team now. Padraic hails from Eire (Southern Ireland) and we caused a bit of a stir coming thru the border. The border guard took one look at our passports (one English and one Irish) and burst out laughing. After a few quips about the insanity of putting an Englishman in a truck with an Irishman he waived us thru and kept our passports..............................

Yep there was a problem with the load manifest and we were called inside, i was getting a bit nervous because it was getting a bit close to the meat inspection closing times. Anyway, in we went, made a quick dash up to the broker, got the problem rectified and stood in line to get booked thru.

10 mins later we were scooting round to the Inspection depot and 20 mins after that we were on our merry way. Tonight we managed to get thru Minneapolis and now we are parked up for the night.

It looks like a lot of North America is battened down for a bit of severe weather, we drove through some horrendous blizzards today although the last few hours it eased off a little. After Chicago we are heading up into Toronto, there has been freezing rain storms in New England so hopefully we can get in and out before it comes across. I think this will be my last run now before Xmas, i booked a week off, this trip should get us back just in time.

I treated myself to a trapper hat on my last run, mostly for fuelling up in minus 20 conditions, hey i might look a tit but at least im a warm tit 8-)

Time at home goes too fast

Home time was a little hectic this time (and great fun) as previously posted, i was awoken by the phone....................

Mick & Cath http://cathincanada.blogspot.com/ who have just started with H&R, Mick is doing his driver training over at SK Training, were checking to see if i was in town.

Half an hour later i got another phone call, this time from Mick & Barbara who are over here for an interview.

Well that was it, its party time so i phoned Jan to let her know what i was going to do (and get permission) and we invited everyone over for a Canadian Winter BBQ.

Good food (though i say so myself), good drink (hic) and good conversation were the order of the night and i hope everyone enjoyed themselves. Luckily we live in a 5 bedroomed bungalow so there was room enough for everyone to crash and we didnt need designated drivers.

Two nights later we recieved an invite from our neihbours to go to a Christmas party at the local Mormon Temple. That was another fantastic night, most of our close neihbours were there so it was a great opportunity to meet everyone, the entertainment was put on by members of the community, who were very surprisingly talented. One guy there, a retired RJH School Principal was excellent, a bit like a Canadian Mike Harding.

Then the food was served, excellent roast beef then Cindy (our next door neihbour) insisted on introducing every one to us, everyone wanted to speak to us and i must have told our immigration story a dozen times, it was so nice that these people made us (English & non mormons) so welcome in their community.

I am so glad we chose to make our home in Raymond....................

Valerie

The madam opened the brothel door and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

"May I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Valerie," the man replied. "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam. "No. I must see Valerie," he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out f ive thousand dollars and gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the same man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row -- too expensive -- and there were no discounts.

The price was still $5,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie questioned the man "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked. &nbs p; The man replied, " South Carolina " "Really" she said. "I have family in South Carolina " "I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance." The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:

1. Death

2. Taxes

3. Being screwed by a lawyer.

Nice Beaver !!!

GREEN campaigners called police after discovering an illegal logging site in a nature reserve – only to find the culprits were a gang of beavers.
Environmentalists found 20 neatly stacked tree trunks and others marked with notches for felling at a beauty-spot in Subkowy, northern Poland.But when officers followed a trail left by a tree which had been dragged away, they found a beaver dam right across the river as reported by the Austrian Times.A police spokesman said: "The campaigners are feeling pretty stupid.

There's nothing more natural than a beaver."

And who would argue with that.

Dashing thru the snow - on a 455 horse open sleigh

So windy the bridge was bending

The last post was written in a Flying J truckstop in Corfu New York, i was loaded with goodies for Canada. Next morning i grabbed a coffee and headed for the border. The delivery was pretty simple followed by a run into Mississauga for a trailer swap then a dash thru the snow to Alberta for yet a few more days at home.

With the delivery complete i scooted round to H&R yard to find the trailer swap had been cancelled, damn, blast and buggery.

My new assignment was a load that would be loaded the following morning and i could collect it first thing. At first i wasnt best pleased coz i wanted to get going, the sooner i can get home the sooner i have my days off and the sooner i get back out earning again, plus its getting close to my christmas holiday.

I went to grab some food (spaghetti and sauce) from the Husky while i pondered the change. After i checked my recap (weekly cycle) i found that it wasnt really asa bad a deal as i first thought. I didnt have many hours left so on the origional dispatch i could only drive 11 or 12 hours per day to get home so obviously it would take a little longer.

Now i was forced to take another short day (5 hours driving) it freed up a load more hours, i could now work for 14 hours per day for 3 straight days which was enough to get me home. So really i wasnt any worse off.

Well the next 3 days were pretty draining, driving thru Ontario i was pretty much the last truck thru before the roads all got closed down, now that was a bit of luck. Most of the journey was blizzard conditions and driving either on ice or compacted snow.

Winterypeg was particularly fun, the roads were like sheet glass and in places there was no traction what so ever. When coming up to lights it was a very carefull and when about 2 truck lengths away just dab the brakes and see what happens. Usually there was no braking effect, just a slight twist in the direction of the truck as the tires failed to get any purchase.

As i was slip sliding across Manitoba i got a phone call from Mick & Barbara who were over here for a week for an interview with H&R. About an hour later i got another call from Mick & Cath who had just started with H&R, Mick was just doing his driver training. This gave me an idea and an oportunity to show off my barbeque and beer making skills, so Lyndon started plotting and scheming and trying to work out away to get everyone together.

The last leg into Calgary was particularly treacherous but before long i was trailer swapping and heading south down towards Lethbridge. I actually got into Lethbridge at about 03:00 in the morning, Jan said she would still pick me up (bless her heart) but i said it wasnt worth it. I closed everything down, completed the paperwork then got my head down for a couple of hours, Jan then picked me up on the way to work, i dropped her off and headed home for a few more hours sleep. I didnt realise how tired i was, when Jan arrived at the truck and woke me up i had no clue who i was never mind where i was, it did take her a few minutes to get any sense out of me.

Anyway i got back home, fell on the bed, i think i was back asleep in mid air long before i hit that lovely fuffy comfortable, kingsized, 3 matressed, 4 pillowed friend. God i love that bed.

Thru the hazy veils of my sleep world, someone was ringing a bell, im not sure what i was dreaming about but someone was definitely ringing a bell somewhere. As my blurry dreamword started to shift into focus and my sub consious raced back into the real world i realised it wasnt a bell ringer it was the phone.

Goodbye bed (for now), hello world................................................

Avon Calling

oh well, enough of butt breathing turtles, extra terrestials and all the other weird stuff, its back to the plot...................................

i am on day 6 of this latest little whirlwind american visit, this morning i woke up in The Bronx NY and tonight i am going to bed in Avon NY. This morning was a bit of a nightmare but i eventually got unloaded, made a swift exit left out of the concrete jungle, scooted over the George Washington bridge, thru Upstate New York then out west thru Pensylvania and back into New York state. My journeys involved a steaming hot shower, a luke warm buffet, and an icey cold wash-out for the backend (the trailer that is)

Im now reloaded with goodies for Canada and parked up for the night ready to cross in the morning. All the paperwork is axed over so we should be good to go and make the delivery tomorrow lunchtime.

Im not sure the buffet was a good idea but i was very hungry, im regretting it now with a poorly tummy and i feel sick. i tried to make it better with a ham and cheese salad and a large bottle of Clamato juice but now i feel even worse.

i had a bit of excitement earlier, a cop who was overtaking me went speeding up the road, there was and flash of brown fur, a screeching of brakes, and for a split second the deer and the cop car became one. Then the whole scene was blood, guts, fur and metal, all bathed in a sea of blue and red pulsating lights. The deer lying at a rakish angle, innards (now outards) steaming in the cold night, legs in the air and a pair of unseeing eyes seemingly staring accusingly at the metal mostrosity that only seconds before had took its whole future away.

Some redneck family are gonna eat well tonight, heee hawww !

Blow it out your ass

First of all i would like to thank all of you who emailed or commented on whether a turtle can actually breathe thru its own little "Sherriff's Badge".

Well i like to think that Lyndons Trucking Life can tackle just about any subject and i think over the last couple of years we have covered most things from genocide to genitalia and from giant statues to intra and extra terretrials. Now its the turn of the turtle, or to be more accurate the turtles bung-hole.

Please read on and prepare to be hejucated...........................

I have read that turtles can breathe through their bums. Is this true, and if so, why did they evolve such a talent and what are the mechanics of this trick? --Steve Carr

My understanding of physiology is that animals (including humans) draw in air by expanding the volume of the chest cavity. How does a turtle, with a fixed chest cavity determined by its shell, draw in air? --E. Nolan Cooper

When turtles put their heads in their shells, what happens to their spines? Do they buckle or contract?

— Daniel Calarese

How turtles breathe, how they pull in their heads--these are worthy topics. But when you get to whether turtles can breathe through their butts, that's when you know you're on the cutting edge of science. We turned to George Angehr, Smithsonian ornithologist and Straight Dope curator of critters. His reply:

"With an ancestry going back more than 200 million years to the late Triassic, the 200 or so species of turtles are the most ancient surviving lineage of land vertebrates. They are also one of the most distinctive life forms on the planet. My herpetology professor started his 'Identification Key to the Reptiles' with the couplet: 'A. Turtles. Any damn fool knows a turtle. B. Other reptiles.'

"The most notable turtle characteristic is the rigid shell, which is composed of the flattened and fused ribs and vertebrae, plus bony elements that don't exist in other vertebrates. Also unlike other vertebrates, the shoulder and hip girdles of turtles are located within the rib cage, instead of outside it. Many turtles partly compensate for the rigidity of the body by having exceptionally flexible necks. The two main groups of turtles are distinguished by the way they pull the neck back into the body.

Most species belong to the cryptodire ('hidden-neck') branch, which can fold the neck in an S-bend in the vertical plane to fully retract the head. The pleurodires ('side-neck'), two families restricted to South America, Africa, and Australia, can only bend the neck back against the body in the horizontal plane, leaving it partly exposed.

"The rigid rib cage also places restrictions on breathing. Turtles have two special sets of respiratory muscles. One set pulls the body contents outward, toward the openings at the front and rear of the shell. This expands the body cavity and draws air into the lungs, which are located in the top part of the shell. The other pushes the viscera up against the lungs to expel the air. This system has the drawback that both inhalation and exhalation require energy--in most vertebrates, elastic energy can be recovered from the rib cage so that exhalation requires little exertion.

"Turtles have extraordinary anaerobic capacity--they have survived up to 33 hours in a pure nitrogen atmosphere. (Most reptiles have a high anaerobic capacity compared to mammals, but even they can't survive much more than 30 minutes without oxygen.) Although basically air-breathing, many aquatic species have developed ways to pick up oxygen even when submerged. Of these the most remarkable, which some turtles share with dragonfly nymphs, sea cucumbers, and certain televangelists, is the ability to breathe through one's butt.

You've heard the expression 'Blow it out your after regions?' It's no mere figure of speech. Many species have a pair of sacs (bursae) opening off the cloaca (combined digestive and urogenital chamber). These are heavily vascularized to facilitate the uptake of oxygen.

"The champion in this regard seems to be the recently discovered (1973) Fitzroy River turtle Rheodytes leukops ('white-eyed stream-diver'), which is confined to its namesake river in Queensland, Australia. It lives in shallow rapids where the water is highly oxygenated. One can detect the keen sense of discovery in the account by the scientists who found it, John Legler and John Cann: 'One of our vivid early impressions of Rheodytes was that adults of both sexes swam with a widely gaping cloacal orifice (up to 30mm in diameter). The orifice remains open when individuals are out of the water.

We first became aware of the large cloacal bursae when a female was examined in bright sunlight; the carapace transmitted enough light to illuminate the coelomic cavity and produce a spectacular view internally for at least 100mm, via the cloaca, revealing a large sac lined with vascular, villose mucosa. . . . Water is pumped in and out of the bursae of captives and experimental animals at rates of 15 to 60 times per minute' (Legler and Cann 1980). Only dedicated herpetologists could characterize the vista up a turtle's gaping bunghole as a 'spectacular view.'

But you can understand their enthusiasm--since the turtle's shell is only 260 millimeters long, a 100-millimeter-long bursa is relatively enormous. Up to 68 percent of the turtle's oxygen uptake is accomplished through the cloacal bursae, so it rarely needs to come to the surface to bask or breathe.

"Find the subject of butt-breathers fascinating? Then here's some more info: Dragonfly nymphs, which are aquatic, take water in through the rectum and absorb oxygen through gill-like structures in the hindgut. They can also travel by jet-propulsion by expelling a powerful stream of water from their rear end. Sea cucumbers, related to starfish, have elaborate respiratory trees branching from the end of the digestive tract, through which they breathe.

They also use the anus in self defense. Some can shoot out sticky threads that can entangle an enemy. Others actually disembowel themselves when disturbed: they eject the digestive tract and respiratory tract from the anus. The innards crawl around by themselves for awhile outside the animal, and as they are sticky they can also entangle an attacker. The sea cucumber then blithely crawls off to regenerate its digestive tract."

Dont get caught !

A woman and a man were involved in a car accident. Both of their cars were totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of them were hurt. After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said, "So, you're a man - that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are both unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends, and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man thoughtfully replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!"

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she handed the bottle to the man. The man nodded his head in agreement, opened it, and drank half the bottle. He then handed it back to the woman. The woman took the bottle, and immediately put the cork back in, and handed it back to the man. In surprise, he asked, "Aren't you having any?"

"No," the woman replied, "I think I'll just wait for the police..."

Useless Trivia

There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

The first product to have a UPC bar code was Wrigley's gum.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

"Typewriter" is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 4 years of age.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

Pearls dissolve in vinegar.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

No words in the English language rhyme with "month", "orange", "silver", or "purple".

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are at least fifty years old.

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one can explain why.

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room in a dance hall.

The second U.S. President who's name contains all the letters from the word "criminal" was William Jefferson Clinton.

The first was Richard Milhouse Nixon.

Another trip east

It looks like i have fell into a bit of a routine, i dont really mind coz the works pretty easy, it pays well and it keeps me out of the way. You may have noticed i tend to get sent east either midwest or east coast, then i get a backload up into Montreal or Mississauga then another load back to Alberta.

The other nice thing about doing that is its pretty flat so not too many nasty weather surprises, i can do over 1000 kms per day and the only real chance of getting bogged down is Ontario or Quebec.

So this last little jaunt...............

The load was a little late coming out of the factory so i got a couple of extra days at home followed by a quick (well quickish, my truck has been reprogrammed to only do 59 mph now and i believe the bhp has been turned down too) dash east down to Philly, that was pretty unaventful. I made that delivery yesterday morning and discovered a fantastic snack bar outside the warehouse. Its about as close as you could get to a UK burger van and the cheese and ham hoagies are excellent.

We are now also coming to the end of our Permenant Residensy application so we are hoping to get an answer before Xmas, that is the big thing we are waiting for, 18 months of uncertainty about to come to an end, hopefully.....

Im a Truck Driver - Get me outta here

Well its 07:15 and the the sun has been up and over the concrete jungle that is the Bronx NY. My booking time was 05:00, i was stood at the shipping office at 04:45 and ive just gone for a walk round to see if anything is happening (it isnt).

I have to say i hope i never have to deliver to this particular customer again. I got here yesterday afternoon and parked up. i thought i would be cheeky and ask if they would tip me. They gave me a horrified look as though i had just asked a nun if she pole danced.............

I took that as a "No" but they were very helpful in informing me that there were 3 good restaurants in the center of the complex so i dropped the papers back off at the truck and went in search of food.

I found the first one............ and it was shut.
I found the second one........... and it was shut.
I found the third one............ yep you guessed it.

So with a heavy heart and a light tummy i returned to the truck and contemplated supper.

Quarter of a bottle of diet coke.
An inch of water in my water bottle.
Half a box of Ice Breaker mints.
Full box of Ice Breaker sours.

Well i am no dietician but even i can tell you that not all the major food groups were covered in that little lot, so it was time for a film then try and get some sleep.

So i awoke this morning feeling rough and groggy, went and handed my paperwork in and asked if they were calling me onto a door by cell or CB. The answer was simple, find an empty door and back on it. Fantastic, there was no line, nowhere to park in the yard and battle with the half a dozen other drivers (mostly New Yorkers) to get tipped.

Well i got onto a door and basically thats it, or should i say thats been it for the last 2 hours, at least i can rest easy in the knowledge that i have earned my $100 New York bonus, or "Depression Allowance" as i prefer to call it.

I am so looking forward to getting back over the George Washington Bridge and get back out into the clean air of rural USA. Why on earth would so many people want to live here, high crime, high pollution, high stress, high congestion, high toll costs. I was listening to the CB this morning and now i can understand why there is so much racial tension in the city, and that was just the CB.