Thursday, November 27, 2008
Back to the Bronx
Okay heres the update, my truck is still on the SL&L list (sick lame and lazy) and we are waiting for parts i beleive, either way its sat round the other side of the estate been pampered by the good people of Freightliner.
Ive got my dispatch and ive accepted it (via phone) and it doesnt deliver till the middle of next week so there is no rush to get my ass in gear. Thanks to Jan working now this isnt a major issue and its really made a difference.
When we first came over Jan wasnt allowed to work because of the immigration system we were using. This made things awkward if i wanted to have a few days off because it meant no money was coming in, this mean the pressure was always on me and i always had to ballance between what wanted, and what had to be done. Weeks like this would be a nightmare coz it can mean missing either 1 pay check or sometimes even 2.
Well now life is a lot less stressful although we do miss the time together when i am back at home, still life is life i guess, no matter where you are. Also Jan feels even more settled here now as she is out and about and interacting in the community.
So its back to the "Dirty Side". Not sure how many drops, but one thing is for sure, im going into the Bronx, thats in New York for those of you who may be a little geographically challenged. Most of my runs now seem to be sending me either into the Mid West or through the Mid West, i dont really mind as i like those types of runs, it keeps me out of the way.
I would say though that this will probably be my last but one run before Xmas, by the time i get back i should be able to squeeze a California in and then it will be the holidays, hurrah !!!
By the way has anyone noticed how mild the weather is this year, hope i havent jinxed it now !!
Ive got my dispatch and ive accepted it (via phone) and it doesnt deliver till the middle of next week so there is no rush to get my ass in gear. Thanks to Jan working now this isnt a major issue and its really made a difference.
When we first came over Jan wasnt allowed to work because of the immigration system we were using. This made things awkward if i wanted to have a few days off because it meant no money was coming in, this mean the pressure was always on me and i always had to ballance between what wanted, and what had to be done. Weeks like this would be a nightmare coz it can mean missing either 1 pay check or sometimes even 2.
Well now life is a lot less stressful although we do miss the time together when i am back at home, still life is life i guess, no matter where you are. Also Jan feels even more settled here now as she is out and about and interacting in the community.
So its back to the "Dirty Side". Not sure how many drops, but one thing is for sure, im going into the Bronx, thats in New York for those of you who may be a little geographically challenged. Most of my runs now seem to be sending me either into the Mid West or through the Mid West, i dont really mind as i like those types of runs, it keeps me out of the way.
I would say though that this will probably be my last but one run before Xmas, by the time i get back i should be able to squeeze a California in and then it will be the holidays, hurrah !!!
By the way has anyone noticed how mild the weather is this year, hope i havent jinxed it now !!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Optical Illusion
Stare at the dot in the middle and move closer
to the screen, the wheels start turning.
All dressed up and nowhere to go
i had a dilemma this morning............................
My truck is still shop coded (poorly sick) and there is no run planned on me but i am meant to be back at work at 08:00.
And im still tired.......................................................
The problem is, Jan has to be at work so if she takes the car i am stranded in Raymond. If she drops me off at the truck then i am stranded at the truck which is poorly and with no run against me then i could be sat around unpaid all day.
The solution was all too simple, take Jan to work, come back home, phone in work, then go back to bed............................
Well that was a great plan and it worked perfectly, its now almost midday and i got an extra half (so far) day off. But now i feel sick................................
When i woke up again i was hungry.................. yep hungry for something greasy, meaty, eggy, saucey and slapped between 2 pieces of bread.
I learnt a lesson this morning.
Pastrami, egg, cheese, mayo and A1 sauce sandwiches are nice but 3 is too many.
Just phoned into dispatch and it looks like Turkey Day (Thanksgiving) in the States is having a bit of an impact on us, its probably to do with meat inspections or something.
Luke and his buddy has just turned up for his lunch (the school is just round the corner), school lunch for Luke is a pretty standard thing, chicken noodles, meat sandwich and one of those Yop dairy drinks.
We actually have one cupboard in the kitchen that is purely for those (Icheyban) thingies, they are disgusting, like a pot noodle without the pot.
Teenagers eh?
Well it looks like another day back at the ranch, if i dont get a run tonight then i think it will be a call to try out one of those little prezzies i got from Graeme Brown when he came down for supper the other night.
He gave me a dozen little sachets of a curry mix. I put them in my ingredients cupboard and now everytime i open the door you get a waft of east indian spices. It smells like a Bangladeshi cook house in there .................. its great 8-)
Those little sachets are fabulous, all the ingredients are ready mixed and the instructions are written on the outside of the packet.......... woo hoo, show me the naan bread !!!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Underground cities - Fact or Fiction
How open is your mind
I have this thing about the radical or the unbelieveable, this is another interest of mine and i have read many articles on the subject. But what is the subject, i dont really know, are we talking about extra terrestrial races or intelligent life forms that share our world but have chosen to stay hidden.............................
I am definitely on the fence when it comes to the big question "are we alone in the universe", but i do research as much as i can.
One question really does bother me though, its not so much whether there are aliens on earth or whether UFO's really exist, but more worryingly.............................
"why is so much stigma attatched to UFO or alien sighting", why do people automatically laugh and mock people who have experiencies...............................
Why do governments give so much effort to denying any possiblity of extreterrestrial activity or denying that they research any sightings or encounters.
Surely if someone says they saw a weird phenomenon that was completely unexplaneable then surely someone somewhere should be asking the question "What if ??"
We should be looking into it not ridiculing the witnesses.
Anyway read on and make your own mind up............................................................
_____________________________________________________
Rumors about underground towns appeared for the first time in 1946. The person to launch the rumors was Richard Shaver – writer, journalist and scientist. His incredible story about contacts with aliens living under the ground was published in Amazing Stories Magazine. Shaver said that he had spent several weeks living under the ground with demon-looking aliens, whose descriptions can be found in ancient legends and fairytales. Almost every nation has a tale of an ancient race, who settled in planet Earth long before humans appeared on it. Those underground creatures are described as inconceivably talented, brilliant and culturally educated – they do not want to have anything in common with humans.
One could refer to the story from the American writer as a fruit of his vivid imagination. However, hundreds of readers responded to the publication. They wrote that they had visited underground cities, talked to their residents and saw unimaginable technical inventions, which guaranteed a comfortable existence in the very depth of the planet. Furthermore, the technologies of underground aliens give them an opportunity to control the minds of humans.
The unbelievable story exerted an immense influence on scientists and gave an incentive to the study of paranormal activities.
English astronomer of the 17th century, Edmund Halley, writers Jules Verne, Edgar Allan Poe and some others wrote in their works that planet Earth is a hollow sphere. American authorities were preparing a special scientific mission in 18-19 centuries to explore the Earth's hollow depth.
The scientists of the Third Reich were very interested in the mysterious underground world too. A special top secret expedition was organized in 1942. German scientists also hoped to install new radar systems under the ground and draw closer to global reign. Unfortunately, the outcome of the intrigue is not known, but the hypothesis of the underground civilization developed further on during the second half of the 20th century.
In 1963, two American coal miners, David Fellin and Henry Throne, found a large door in a tunnel, behind which they discovered a marble stairway. In England, miners can hear the sounds of mechanical devices under the ground, as they dig a tunnel. An English miner said that they had also found a stairway to an underground well. The sound of machines became more distinct, and the workers fled in fear. When they returned to the tunnel, there were no stairs and no entrance to the well.
An American satellite took very interesting photographs at the end of the 1970s. The photographs were published in many Western scientific magazines: the pictures depicted a dark, regularly shaped spot on the North Pole. The photographs were not defective: similar pictures depicting the same dark spot on the pole were taken several years later.
Anthropologist James McKenna explored an ill-famed cave in the State of Idaho. McKenna and other members of the expedition could hear screams and moans, as they were moving hundreds meters deep into the cave. The researchers found human skeletons soon, but they had to stop their quest: the smell of brimstone was unbearable.
Geologists do not share the theory of the Earth's huge cavity, although they do not exclude a possibility of numerous large hollow spaces in planet's depths. Human life is hardly possible in those cavities: the temperature is too high and there is very little oxygen there. Some researchers believe that the underground civilization might be of an extraterrestrial origin. Aliens were probably tired of people's eternal wars and atrocities, and moved under the ground, from where they comfortably observed the development of the mankind. What if UFOs appear in the sky from under the ground, not from other galaxies? However, if planet Earth is hollow inside, someone should have found the gateway to the underground world long ago. A group of American scientists believes that underground cities exist on Earth in the fourth dimension. When the Earth's electromagnetic field changes from time to time, entrances to the tunnels open, and accidental “visitors” may see the underground cities and their inhabitants.
One of the theories says that many mysterious constructions, like the English Stonehendge for example, were built to designate entrances to underground cities. If there is a reasonable race living under the ground, it would be an explanation to a lot of inexplicable phenomena.
I have this thing about the radical or the unbelieveable, this is another interest of mine and i have read many articles on the subject. But what is the subject, i dont really know, are we talking about extra terrestrial races or intelligent life forms that share our world but have chosen to stay hidden.............................
I am definitely on the fence when it comes to the big question "are we alone in the universe", but i do research as much as i can.
One question really does bother me though, its not so much whether there are aliens on earth or whether UFO's really exist, but more worryingly.............................
"why is so much stigma attatched to UFO or alien sighting", why do people automatically laugh and mock people who have experiencies...............................
Why do governments give so much effort to denying any possiblity of extreterrestrial activity or denying that they research any sightings or encounters.
Surely if someone says they saw a weird phenomenon that was completely unexplaneable then surely someone somewhere should be asking the question "What if ??"
We should be looking into it not ridiculing the witnesses.
Anyway read on and make your own mind up............................................................
_____________________________________________________
Rumors about underground towns appeared for the first time in 1946. The person to launch the rumors was Richard Shaver – writer, journalist and scientist. His incredible story about contacts with aliens living under the ground was published in Amazing Stories Magazine. Shaver said that he had spent several weeks living under the ground with demon-looking aliens, whose descriptions can be found in ancient legends and fairytales. Almost every nation has a tale of an ancient race, who settled in planet Earth long before humans appeared on it. Those underground creatures are described as inconceivably talented, brilliant and culturally educated – they do not want to have anything in common with humans.
One could refer to the story from the American writer as a fruit of his vivid imagination. However, hundreds of readers responded to the publication. They wrote that they had visited underground cities, talked to their residents and saw unimaginable technical inventions, which guaranteed a comfortable existence in the very depth of the planet. Furthermore, the technologies of underground aliens give them an opportunity to control the minds of humans.
The unbelievable story exerted an immense influence on scientists and gave an incentive to the study of paranormal activities.
English astronomer of the 17th century, Edmund Halley, writers Jules Verne, Edgar Allan Poe and some others wrote in their works that planet Earth is a hollow sphere. American authorities were preparing a special scientific mission in 18-19 centuries to explore the Earth's hollow depth.
The scientists of the Third Reich were very interested in the mysterious underground world too. A special top secret expedition was organized in 1942. German scientists also hoped to install new radar systems under the ground and draw closer to global reign. Unfortunately, the outcome of the intrigue is not known, but the hypothesis of the underground civilization developed further on during the second half of the 20th century.
In 1963, two American coal miners, David Fellin and Henry Throne, found a large door in a tunnel, behind which they discovered a marble stairway. In England, miners can hear the sounds of mechanical devices under the ground, as they dig a tunnel. An English miner said that they had also found a stairway to an underground well. The sound of machines became more distinct, and the workers fled in fear. When they returned to the tunnel, there were no stairs and no entrance to the well.
An American satellite took very interesting photographs at the end of the 1970s. The photographs were published in many Western scientific magazines: the pictures depicted a dark, regularly shaped spot on the North Pole. The photographs were not defective: similar pictures depicting the same dark spot on the pole were taken several years later.
Anthropologist James McKenna explored an ill-famed cave in the State of Idaho. McKenna and other members of the expedition could hear screams and moans, as they were moving hundreds meters deep into the cave. The researchers found human skeletons soon, but they had to stop their quest: the smell of brimstone was unbearable.
Geologists do not share the theory of the Earth's huge cavity, although they do not exclude a possibility of numerous large hollow spaces in planet's depths. Human life is hardly possible in those cavities: the temperature is too high and there is very little oxygen there. Some researchers believe that the underground civilization might be of an extraterrestrial origin. Aliens were probably tired of people's eternal wars and atrocities, and moved under the ground, from where they comfortably observed the development of the mankind. What if UFOs appear in the sky from under the ground, not from other galaxies? However, if planet Earth is hollow inside, someone should have found the gateway to the underground world long ago. A group of American scientists believes that underground cities exist on Earth in the fourth dimension. When the Earth's electromagnetic field changes from time to time, entrances to the tunnels open, and accidental “visitors” may see the underground cities and their inhabitants.
One of the theories says that many mysterious constructions, like the English Stonehendge for example, were built to designate entrances to underground cities. If there is a reasonable race living under the ground, it would be an explanation to a lot of inexplicable phenomena.
Faith - The Wonder Dog
I saw this a while ago and stumbled across it again this morning, it is truley amazing.
Faith's Official Web Site!
http://www.faiththedog.net/index.asp
And here is the story
Faith Stringfellow is an amazing little dog, with an even more amazing story. Faith suffered from a birth defect, she became a member of our family when she was just a three-week old puppy. My son Reuben (17) picked Faith out of a litter of puppies that his friend's dog had recently given birth to. Several of the puppies were deformed; a few had already died. The mother dog was actually trying to terminate Faith's life when Reuben lifted her weak body out from under the mother dog; he brought her home to me knowing I had a heart like a marshmellow.
Even though Faith has this defect we taught her to stand, hop, and eventually walk on her two back legs, like a human. She's been a great dog and we forget she's handicapped. You'll turn around and she's chasing the geese at the park, running, jumping, skipping, and acting like any other dog...well, any other dog with a nose reach of 40" from the ground! (Watch your plate, she'll clean it for you before you're ready to share.)
I'm going to tell you a little story about Faith that you may find quite interesting. I couldn't get Faith interested in toys when she was a little puppy. She didn't want to play fetch obviously, but she also didn't want to chew on squeaky toys. She looked at them. She would sit there and watch me throw a little toy in the air - often times I would throw the really soft ones at her to see if she would catch it - she didn't. It just hit her in the face! Then she would stare at me as if I was the bad-guy. One day I was doing laundry and some of the warm socks feel off the top of the basket - she grabbed it! After she grabbed the roll of socks she hopped under the bed with it. When I reached under the bed to retrieve the clean rolled up pair of socks I found she had been stealing our socks for quite some time! She had an entire nest of socks under the bed. FINALLY I found something she was interested in. When I encouraged Faith to play with Matrix all it took was to take one of her socks from under the bed and give it to Matrix to play tug-of-war with - - that was all she needed. She began playing hard and she never let up. She could stand up really tall and take the sock back when she wanted to, so Matrix began taking out her legs. Faith realized early that she only had two legs to use - and she began hopping backwards to get away from Matrix. This began a series of training behaviors that absolutely stun the professionals. Faith can (if she wants to) hop backward, forward, straight up, and even over the dog - but I stress - IF she wants to. I can't make her do anything - we call her the "Diva" sometimes.
With Faith every day is a new adventure - she has always been ready for traveling, touring, meeting people, visiting hosptials, going on stage, or just hanging out under the bed all day. She's as normal as any other dog when it comes to being in her "cave" for protection - - the difference between Faith and other dogs is she actually looks forward to flying, driving, traveling around and being in the limelight. She sees a big camera and she thinks it was put there for her...she's actually walked into weddings because she heard the music and the people clapping. You can bet she stuck around for the food at the reception and that's one bride's maid that will never be forgotten in King of Prussia, PA!
I've written a book about our life struggles and how Faith helped us, and another strictly about Faith. You can buy them online through www.amazon.com by their titles "With a Little Faith" (2nd Ed.) and "Faith Alone: Stories of an Amazing Dog" and of course they are also available through the publisher at www.xlibris.com (Just a note: With a Little Faith is for persons over the age of 14.) Thank you so much for loving my little dog and for sharing her miraculous story with all of your friends. She really is a gift, and I am very blessed by Jesus to have her.
Only In Saskatchewan
Due to other companies making modifications to company vehicles to make the more envoironment friendly.
Kindersley Transport (Saskatoon) have announced plans to not only follow suit but to take a corporate lead that surpasses any other company's effort.
This radical new design implements local resourses and is in keeping with Provincial profiling.
A company official commented this morning about a minor setback when an employee was injured while trying to plug in the block heater.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Flying thru Ontario
So that was Detroit, nice to visit but wouldnt want to live there..........................
Within the next few minutes i got my next instruction, cross into Canada empty, collect in Kitchener and deliver to Calgary............................
What a fantastic load, no pratting around for the day in Mississauga, i crossed, i parked, i slept then next morning i went in and made the collection. I was starting to get a bit worried, it was all a bit too perfect, there was even a public scale round the corner.
Anyway my worries were unfounded and everything went as planned and within an our i was wending my way West back to the Prairies.
When i got to Cochrane i met up with another driver called John Belton, we were both going to Calgary so we drove back together, and got there last night.
John dropped his truck off in Calgary and i dropped him off in High River to grab his car.........
Then i drove back to Lethbridge, parked up and went home.
Another job done and another few days back at the homestead...........................................
Within the next few minutes i got my next instruction, cross into Canada empty, collect in Kitchener and deliver to Calgary............................
What a fantastic load, no pratting around for the day in Mississauga, i crossed, i parked, i slept then next morning i went in and made the collection. I was starting to get a bit worried, it was all a bit too perfect, there was even a public scale round the corner.
Anyway my worries were unfounded and everything went as planned and within an our i was wending my way West back to the Prairies.
When i got to Cochrane i met up with another driver called John Belton, we were both going to Calgary so we drove back together, and got there last night.
John dropped his truck off in Calgary and i dropped him off in High River to grab his car.........
Then i drove back to Lethbridge, parked up and went home.
Another job done and another few days back at the homestead...........................................
Oh s***t, left my camera in the truck
Aagh i just realised i left my camera in the truck and its got all the pictures on it, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger !!!
Oh well never mind, before i tell you about my latest trip i have to tell you about something i did last night, unfortunately there were no witnesses so you will have to take my word for it.
I had just dropped my trailer in the Calgary yard and was helping another driver sort out his trailer while i waited for my load asignment to get me down to Lethbridge for a few days off. The paper holder was broken so i had to find somewhere else to stash the paperwork. I tucked the papers into where i was going to stash them and thought it was a good idea to just phone the night shift and let them know.
Anyway i was in a bit of a rush because i was awkwardly parked and also nature was calling so it was getting all a bit stressfull.
Anyway the phone was ringing away for about a minute and i was getting a little impatient, now seeing as i was on my own and obviously no-one was in ear shot i had a litttle private rant at the phone.
Unfortunatly as i starting screaming at the phone i didnt realise the dispatcher had picked up the phone and was listening to everything i said.
We laughed about it later but it was a bit embarassing.
Anyway back to the trip.....................................
As you know i got back from Quebec from my last trip and had a few days off. This time i was going to Detroit so i looked at purchasing a bullet proof vest (only joking- no offence to anyone from Detroit so dont shoot me)
This was a dream job, the trailer would be waiting for me in the Lethbridge yard so i just hook and run. I turned up at 13:00, threw my gear in the back, pre-tripped, scaled and run for the border. I flew threw the border, into meat inpection and 30 minutes later i was heading south then west.
The timings were all perfect, driving the max, resting the min and got just outside Motown for the night before. Next morning i trundled in and joined the queue to unload.
What i saw over the next few hours i thought was pretty shocking. It started with a knock on the door..................................
I was asleep on the bunk and i woke with a start...............
A scruffy black guy was looking up through the window, at first i thought he was a lumper sending me to a door so i wound the window down expecting to recieve some instructions, instead all i got was a sob story about homelessness and slow work down at the marketplace.
I told him i had no cash and he sauntered off.................................
15 mintes later the next one appeared..................................
Then i had a phone call from the lumpers and reversed onto a door.....................
And another 2 beggars came round.
As i pulled off the bay, this guy parked his truck about 20 feet in front of me, jumped out of the cab and walked over to me.
Ah, i thought, he needs directions, but i was wrong, he wanted me to buy flags off of im to buy wheel chairs for veterans.................. does anyone ever believe that crap.
Im as patriotic as the next person and i am a veteran myself but i dont think that money would be spent on wheelchairs, just another scam.
Anyway i saw the flags and i thought, that would be nice in the window, it was only a small stars and stripes on a cocktail stick but i wanted one for the window.
So i said, yeah go on then i'll have a flag off ya.
Anyway his little face lit up and he offered me a hand full of flags so i handed over a dollar bill.
He looked at me, looked at the bill, looked at the flags then looked at me again.
"I can only accept $10's and $20's" he said.
"I can only offer $1's" i said.
"Those flags are accounted for" he said.
"Do you still want that dollar" i said.
So i gave him his flags back, minus 1 coz i had paid a dollar for it.
He looked at me as if to say, i need that flag back.
I smiled and said "nope, i paid a dollar for that, its mine"
He shrugged and walked off, got back in his truck and drove off.
When i drove back out to the freeway i counted another 3 beggars, it was amazing.
Oh well never mind, before i tell you about my latest trip i have to tell you about something i did last night, unfortunately there were no witnesses so you will have to take my word for it.
I had just dropped my trailer in the Calgary yard and was helping another driver sort out his trailer while i waited for my load asignment to get me down to Lethbridge for a few days off. The paper holder was broken so i had to find somewhere else to stash the paperwork. I tucked the papers into where i was going to stash them and thought it was a good idea to just phone the night shift and let them know.
Anyway i was in a bit of a rush because i was awkwardly parked and also nature was calling so it was getting all a bit stressfull.
Anyway the phone was ringing away for about a minute and i was getting a little impatient, now seeing as i was on my own and obviously no-one was in ear shot i had a litttle private rant at the phone.
Unfortunatly as i starting screaming at the phone i didnt realise the dispatcher had picked up the phone and was listening to everything i said.
We laughed about it later but it was a bit embarassing.
Anyway back to the trip.....................................
As you know i got back from Quebec from my last trip and had a few days off. This time i was going to Detroit so i looked at purchasing a bullet proof vest (only joking- no offence to anyone from Detroit so dont shoot me)
This was a dream job, the trailer would be waiting for me in the Lethbridge yard so i just hook and run. I turned up at 13:00, threw my gear in the back, pre-tripped, scaled and run for the border. I flew threw the border, into meat inpection and 30 minutes later i was heading south then west.
The timings were all perfect, driving the max, resting the min and got just outside Motown for the night before. Next morning i trundled in and joined the queue to unload.
What i saw over the next few hours i thought was pretty shocking. It started with a knock on the door..................................
I was asleep on the bunk and i woke with a start...............
A scruffy black guy was looking up through the window, at first i thought he was a lumper sending me to a door so i wound the window down expecting to recieve some instructions, instead all i got was a sob story about homelessness and slow work down at the marketplace.
I told him i had no cash and he sauntered off.................................
15 mintes later the next one appeared..................................
Then i had a phone call from the lumpers and reversed onto a door.....................
And another 2 beggars came round.
As i pulled off the bay, this guy parked his truck about 20 feet in front of me, jumped out of the cab and walked over to me.
Ah, i thought, he needs directions, but i was wrong, he wanted me to buy flags off of im to buy wheel chairs for veterans.................. does anyone ever believe that crap.
Im as patriotic as the next person and i am a veteran myself but i dont think that money would be spent on wheelchairs, just another scam.
Anyway i saw the flags and i thought, that would be nice in the window, it was only a small stars and stripes on a cocktail stick but i wanted one for the window.
So i said, yeah go on then i'll have a flag off ya.
Anyway his little face lit up and he offered me a hand full of flags so i handed over a dollar bill.
He looked at me, looked at the bill, looked at the flags then looked at me again.
"I can only accept $10's and $20's" he said.
"I can only offer $1's" i said.
"Those flags are accounted for" he said.
"Do you still want that dollar" i said.
So i gave him his flags back, minus 1 coz i had paid a dollar for it.
He looked at me as if to say, i need that flag back.
I smiled and said "nope, i paid a dollar for that, its mine"
He shrugged and walked off, got back in his truck and drove off.
When i drove back out to the freeway i counted another 3 beggars, it was amazing.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
As many of you who know me, or know of me, will have learned that we moved over here to Canada and moved into the little township of Raymond which is predominantly populated by followers of the Mormon or LDS faith.
This faith or religion is much more common over here in North America than it is in Europe. In fac I think it would be fair to say that when your average “Brit” hears the term Mormon then then paint a picture of a couple of smartly dressed gents knocking at the door trying to convert you or sell you some publication or another. Or one family name springs to mind, and that would be the Osmands. Oh yes for my younger readers, please don’t send in comments asking who the Osmands are, just google it or ask mom or dad……
Even better get Dad to bang out a few lines of “Crazy Horses” or persuade Mum to croon “Puppy Love” into the old hairbrush, please note at this stage that Lyndon’s Trucking Life will accept no responsibility whatsoever for the resulting murdering of the aforementioned songs, but I will say it would be more entertaining after a few cold ones from the fridge………….. that’s for them not you 8-)
So whats it like living in a community of Mormons ???
Its……er basically like living in any other community, except that everyone is friendly to each other, everyone is very community spirited, there is almost no crime. Luke went away with the church last year on a snow caving, fishing, tobogganing and tons of other stuff week expedition which he absolutely loved, and the crazy thing is no-one tried any kind of converting stuff on him, weird isn’t it.
I will say though the town does close down somewhat on a Sunday and the temples (churches) we have in town are ram packed full, and it is impossible to buy booze or liquor in town, Even though we do come from an envoironment that takes Sunday shopping and popping down to the pub for a swift one, for granted, life in Raymond hasn’t caused us to change our lifestyle too much, and where it has changed I think is for the better.
Now I am not by any means a religious man, I do have my own beliefs although very diluted and you will only ever see me in church for christenings, weddings and funerals. If God does exist then that is the way he created me and who am I to try to change is work…………that’s my excuse anyway.
Im writing this article coz I want to bust a few myths and a few misconceptions about these friendly, community spirited people who originally migrated up from their Zion which is Salt Lake City in Utah to settle the fertile Albertian lands and found the little community of Raymond, the place I now call home.
Please let me shed a little light on my new friends……………………………………….
A Mormon is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Although Mormons say they prefer that the entire name be used to refer to them, or the shortened “Latter Day Saint,” the nickname Mormon is also acceptable. For many non-members, Mormons are a mysterious group of people, and misconceptions regarding their beliefs abound. It is a relatively new church, although members believe that the church is in actuality, the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. In the year 1820, a young Joseph Smith began the restoration of the gospel which today, has over 12 million members worldwide.
The basic beliefs of the Mormon religion are quite similar to many Christian denominations. They believe that God is man’s Heavenly Father and that he is the creator. His son, Jesus Christ is their Savior and atoned for the sins of mankind. Through repentance and adherence to God’s commandments man can return to live with God for eternity. Mormons also believe in the Holy Ghost, which guides them and gives them knowledge of the truth of the gospel. Although Mormons believe in the Godhead, they do not believe in the Holy Trinity version which claims that all three are one unified being.
Mormons believe in a living prophet, not unlike the prophets of the Old and New Testament. As of 2006, President Gordon Hinckley is one of the oldest and longest serving prophets of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Its headquarters are located in Salt Lake City, Utah, a state where approximately 14 percent of its membership resides. According to their beliefs, members receive timely instructions from God through the prophet as to how they should live their lives and how the business of the church should be conducted.
Some people associate the Mormon lifestyle with strong family values, clean living and extensive church attendance and involvement. This is due to the fact that one of the foundational commandments of the Mormon religion is to strengthen the family emotionally and spiritually so that, as a unit, the family can live together forever with the Heavenly Father. The Word of Wisdom, which believers say came from God through Joseph Smith, outlines a strict anti-tobacco, anti-drug, and anti-alcohol code. Basically, Mormons are anti-addiction which makes drinks such as coffee and tea forbidden. Instead the Church stresses moderation.
Many a Mormon will tell you that they spend a lot of time involved in church activities and services. The Sunday service is three hours long, and members are expected to serve in a “calling.” All its clergymen are unpaid, and every role in the church, including Sunday school teachers and missionaries is unpaid, except for a few full time positions at the church’s headquarters. A full ten percent tithing is required of members, which supports the expenses of the church. Tithing is used to support the church’s infrastructure as well as missionary work and humanitarian services worldwide.
Missionaries are probably the most visible and well known members of the church. Approximately 60,000 missionaries serve worldwide. Young men in particular, but more and more young women of the church are expected to serve 18 to 24 month missions to proselytize and perform service. Above all, a Mormon is expected to endure daily trials, repent of sins, achieve his or her full spiritual and earthly potential, build a strong family, fellowship both members and non-members and attempt to determine their life's purpose.
Historical Flags Of Canada
National Flag Of Canada
Canadian Red Ensign 
Royal Union Flag
Royal Union Flag
Fleur-de-lis
St George Cross
When did the maple leaf become the emblem of Canada?
The maple leaf was historically used from the early days of Canada to symbolize the land and its people. It was first proposed as an emblem of Canada in 1834 when the Société Saint-Jean-Baptiste was founded; shortly thereafter, in 1836, Le Canadien, a newspaper published in Lower Canada, referred to it as a suitable emblem for Canada.It was also used in the decorations for the visit of the Prince of Wales to Canada in 1860. It appears on the coats of arms granted to Quebec and Ontario in 1868 and as a distinctive emblem on the royal arms of Canada proclaimed in 1921. The maple leaf was for many years the symbol of the Canadian Armed Forces and was used to identify Canadian contingents in the two world wars. But it wasn't to receive official status until the National Flag of Canada was proclaimed by Her Majesty the Queen in 1965.
What is the correct designation for the Canadian flag?
The official name is the National Flag of Canada.
The official name is the National Flag of Canada.
When was the Canadian flag officially approved and how is it described?
The National Flag of Canada was approved by Parliament in 1964 and proclaimed by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II to take effect on February 15, 1965. It is a red flag, twice as long as it is wide, containing in its centre a white square bearing a red maple leaf. Red and white are Canada's official colours and, with the maple leaf, are the symbolic elements found in the Canadian flag.
The National Flag of Canada was approved by Parliament in 1964 and proclaimed by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II to take effect on February 15, 1965. It is a red flag, twice as long as it is wide, containing in its centre a white square bearing a red maple leaf. Red and white are Canada's official colours and, with the maple leaf, are the symbolic elements found in the Canadian flag.
When were red and white designated Canada's official colours?
Red and white were designated Canada's colours by King George V on November 21, 1921, in the proclamation of the Royal Arms of Canada -- Canada's coat of arms.
What is the significance of the eleven points of the maple leaf?
The maple leaf, as found on the national flag, is a stylized design. The symbolism lies in the maple leaf itself, which is the traditional emblem of Canada. There is no special significance to the eleven points.
What other flags were previously used in Canada?
The St. George's Cross -- an English flag of the 15th century -- was carried by John Cabot when he reached the east coast of Canada in 1497, sailing under English colours.
The fleur-de-lis was a symbol of French sovereignty in Canada from 1534, when Jacques Cartier landed and claimed the new world for France, until the early 1760s, when Canada was ceded to the United Kingdom.First flown over Canada in 1621, the Royal Union Flag (the Union Jack) was used across British North America and in Canada even after Confederation in 1867.
From about 1870, various forms of the Canadian Red Ensign were used on land and sea as Canada's unofficial flag as well as the Union Jack. In 1945, the Canadian government authorized the use of the Red Ensign on federal buildings within Canada until such time as a new national flag was adopted.
What is maple syrup (an' where's it come from)
How to harvest the syrup 
Watch out for reindeer
Bottle it for the tourists
Then enjoy !!One of the things people think of when they hear the word "Canada" is The Maple Leaf, another would be maple syrup, the thing that pancakes was invented for..................
but do you know where it comes from?
do you really care where it comes from?if you do then read on and prepare to be educated.
If you dont, then dont read on.
If your not sure then read on anyway coz this story has got indians in it, its also got french people and history, something for everyone really.
If your not really interested in indians, french people or history then try this website.
http://www.clickpix.de/horses.htm
its got horses in it............................
Maple syrup is a sweetener made from the sap of maple trees. In Canada and the United States it is most often eaten with waffles and pancakes. It is sometimes used as an ingredient in baking, the making of candy, preparing desserts, or as a sugar source and flavoring agent in making beer. Sucrose is the most prevalent sugar in maple syrup.
It was first collected and used by Native Americans/First Nations and was later adopted by European settlers
History: Origins of Maple Syrup Production
Algonquin History
According to Native American oral tradition, maple syrup and maple sugar was being made before recorded history. Native Americans in Eastern North America were the first to discover 'sinzibuckwud', the Algonquin word for maple syrup, meaning 'drawn from wood'.
The Algonquins were the first to recognize the sap as a source of energy and nutrition. They would use a tomahawk to make a V-shaped incision in the tree. Then, they would insert reeds or concave pieces of bark to run the sap into buckets made from birch bark. The sap was slightly concentrated, either by throwing hot stones in the bucket, or by leaving it overnight and disposing of the layer of ice which had formed on top. It was drunk as a sweet drink or used in cooking. It is possible that maple-cured bacon began with this process.
To boil the water, they used a cauldron made of cooked earth, to boil maple sap over simple fires protected only by a roof of tree branches. This was the first version of the sugar shack. Over the years, this evolved to the point where the sugar shack is not only a place where maple syrup is produced, but also a gathering place where a traditional meal can be enjoyed.
Early Settlers in Quebec
In the 1700s, in Quebec, the white settlers and fur traders introduced wooden buckets, made by hollowing out a log. When the log was full, they poured the water into a cast-iron cauldron.
They boiled outside, in the woods. To protect themselves from wind and rain, they built a little camp. In the early days of colonization, it was the Natives who showed French settlers how to tap the trunk of a tree at the outset of spring, harvest the sap and boil it to evaporate some of the water. This custom quickly became an integral part of colony life and during the 17th and 18th centuries, syrup was a major source of high quality pure sugar. Later, however, they would learn to bore holes in the trees and hang their buckets on home-made spouts.
By the 1850s, the "sugar shack" (the outdoor shack used to boil down the sap) arrived as we know it today. The settlers had refined the methods for collecting the sap. The sap was transported using large barrel pulls by horses or cows and brought to the sugar shack for processing. At this time, the maple sugar was the only available sugar, and it was called “country sugar”. Maple Sugar production was especially important due to the fact that other types of sugar were hard to find and expensive. It was as common on the table as salt is today.
Even if production methods have been streamlined since colonial days, they remain basically the same. The sap must first be collected and distilled carefully so that you get the same totally natural, totally pure syrup without any chemical agents or preservatives.
Early maple syrup was made by boiling 40 gallons of sap over an open fire until you had one gallon of syrup. This was both time consuming and labor intensive, especially considering that the sap needed to be hauled to the fire in the first place.
The process underwent little change over the first two hundred years of recorded maple making. However, during the Civil War, the tin can was invented. The tin can was made of sheet metal. It didn’t take syrup makers long to realize that a large flat sheet metal pan was more efficient for boiling than a heavy rounded iron kettle which let much of the heated air slide past.
Virtually all syrup makers in the past were self sufficient dairy farmers who made syrup and sugar during the off season of the farm for their own use and for extra income. The process continued to evolve as a result of the innovations these farmers developed in their work. In 1864, a Canadian borrowed some design ideas from sorghum evaporators and put a series of baffles in the flat pans to channel the boiling sap. In 1872 a Vermonter developed an evaporator with two pans and a metal arch or firebox which greatly decreased boiling time. Seventeen years later, in 1889, another Canadian bent the tin that formed the bottom of a pan into a series of flues which increased the heated surface area of the pan and again decreased boiling time.
Peoples Of North America - Hutterites
Hutterites are a communal people, living on scattered bruderhöfe or colonies throughout the prairies in North America. This communal lifestyle finds its roots in the biblical teachings of Christ and the Apostles. Emerging as a distinct culture and religious group in the early 16th century, this non-resistant Anabaptist sect endured great persecution and death at the hands of the state and church in Early Modern Europe period. However, the Hand of God remained on the shoulder of these people, and their descendents survived to battle on to this very day...
Economy.
Hutterites live on large, mechanized communal farms that are formed as clones of established colonies. In the larger, mature colonies, most men over 30 hold lifetime appointments to all the major positions, but there are a number of younger men with no chance for upward mobility. Competitive feelings can develop that foster social problems. The solution is to divide the colony. They buy land for the new colony, develop the new infrastructure, divide into two equal groups, and choose by lot which group stays and which moves.
Beliefs that Foster Peacefulness.
The Hutterite worldview is based on respect for the authority of God. God has established a hierarchy of relationships, with the lower always obeying the higher—the younger person obeys the older, the woman the man, and man obeys God. They feel that the individual will must be broken—people should accept self-denial rather than self-fulfillment. But individuals are never secure before God—only their daily behavior gives them security, not their baptism or verbal affirmations. Since the will of God is expressed through the decisions of the community, the individual must be obedient to group will. Communal living is God's order, and private possessions express man's greed.
Avoiding and Resolving Conflict.
Because of the communal structure of their society, it is essential for Hutterites to deal effectively with interpersonal tensions. Simple disagreements or misunderstandings are settled between individuals—people will simply speak directly to others. If that approach fails, the preachers or other church members will intervene. In serious situations, people may be summoned before the church membership and given a chance to ask forgiveness. If that does not succeed, they may be temporarily ostracized, banned from membership until they repent. They eat alone and may not shake hands with others. If they leave the colony, they are condemned to eternal damnation, so the colonies normally do not force their members out.
Gender Relations. Hutterite men and women operate in two separate subcultures in the colony. People believe that women are clearly inferior—man was created in God's image, but woman was taken from man and inherits his submissiveness and weakness. The men make all of the colony decisions and the women generally support the patriarchal order, though on the informal level they have a considerable influence on colony affairs. In practical terms, women are confined mostly to gardening and domestic chores, they do not drive colony vehicles, and unlike men they are quite closed off from the consumer society.
Gender Relations. Hutterite men and women operate in two separate subcultures in the colony. People believe that women are clearly inferior—man was created in God's image, but woman was taken from man and inherits his submissiveness and weakness. The men make all of the colony decisions and the women generally support the patriarchal order, though on the informal level they have a considerable influence on colony affairs. In practical terms, women are confined mostly to gardening and domestic chores, they do not drive colony vehicles, and unlike men they are quite closed off from the consumer society.
Raising Children.
Hutterite children enter kindergarten about age three, where they learn to prey, obey, and get along with others. They also learn to be quiet around adults and to cry quietly. When they reach school age, they attend the colony’s German language school, where they study the Bible, learn Hutterite beliefs, and learn to read and write in German. They also attend the English school, where an outside teacher teaches all the subjects of the public school curriculum, including reading and writing in English. The children thus learn to associate their own customs and beliefs with the German language of the colony and the ways of the outside world with the English language.
Social Practices.
When projects are proposed or group work is underway, Hutterites are highly respectful of each other. Older men whose pace of work may slow down the operation are respected; when young, inexperienced boys join in the work they are not resented. In group discussions, everyone is highly conscious of rank and quite cautious about advancing proposals; suggestions will be made passively, many proposals considered, and since ideas are not attributed to specific individuals, the group as a whole becomes the author of the proposal that is decided upon. Everyone shares in the decision-making and identifies with the result.
Cooperation and Competition.
Competition between individuals may exist in a muted form, and the managers of different farming operations of the colony may compete for resources. The colony executives have to override this competitiveness and make decisions for the good of the whole colony. But in general, as individuals age they progress from hard labor jobs to management positions to offices of executive authority. Competition thus does not occur for positions in the well-integrated colony. Furthermore, Hutterites have been socialized to not assert themselves for personal advantage, so they do not feel comfortable seeking positions of dominance. Instead, they wait until God chooses them for advancement. Also, since influence, authority, and power are diffused, the mature men generally cooperate in group actions.
Social Control.
The Hutterites have an accepting rather than a sullen attitude toward the pressing need for discipline, though they also cherish their individuality, an essential psychic need for the health of the colony. But there is an emotional cost to their style of socialization: depression, anxiety, and alcoholism are problems in many colonies. Human relations in the colonies sometimes lack warmth and spontaneity—people may tend to suppress emotions, avoid intimacy, and keep silent in order to maintain their nonviolence. Their regular release from suppression and avoidance consists of interruptions in routines, such as family outings and singing festivals.
Strategies for Avoiding Warfare and Violence. Hutterites are particularly sensitive to the resentment and anxiety that their farming neighbors and the people of the nearest towns may feel toward them, and they make efforts to overcome those feelings. Sometimes they will help neighbors or exchange or sell farm produce with the primary aim of improving neighborly relations. Likewise, the colony often purchases goods in the local towns rather than a larger, more distant, city so that people in their area realize the economic importance of their presence.
Strategies for Avoiding Warfare and Violence. Hutterites are particularly sensitive to the resentment and anxiety that their farming neighbors and the people of the nearest towns may feel toward them, and they make efforts to overcome those feelings. Sometimes they will help neighbors or exchange or sell farm produce with the primary aim of improving neighborly relations. Likewise, the colony often purchases goods in the local towns rather than a larger, more distant, city so that people in their area realize the economic importance of their presence.
Photography
Alberta Hutterites won the right to avoid having their photograph taken for their drivers' licenses. In May 2007, the Alberta Court of Appeal ruled that the photograph requirement violates their religious rights and that driving was essential to their way of life. The Wilson Springs colony based their position on the belief that images are prohibited by the Second Commandment. About eighty of the photo-less licenses were in use at the time of the decision. Besides the Alberta Hutterite groups (Darius and Lehreleut), a handful of colonies in Manitoba (Schmiedleut) do not wish their members to be photographed for licenses or other identity document.
Alberta Hutterites won the right to avoid having their photograph taken for their drivers' licenses. In May 2007, the Alberta Court of Appeal ruled that the photograph requirement violates their religious rights and that driving was essential to their way of life. The Wilson Springs colony based their position on the belief that images are prohibited by the Second Commandment. About eighty of the photo-less licenses were in use at the time of the decision. Besides the Alberta Hutterite groups (Darius and Lehreleut), a handful of colonies in Manitoba (Schmiedleut) do not wish their members to be photographed for licenses or other identity document.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you dress?
Hutterites have a dress code. The dress code is more pronounced with some groups, i.e. the Lehrerleut and the Dariusleut in Alberta and Saskatchewan. The Schmiedeleut Hutterian Brethren's dress code is typically as follows: men wear suspenders, usually black or dark trousers, and any kind of buttoned shirt. Married men traditionally wear a beard.
Women wear below-knee-length dresses; younger women and girls wear brighter colored dresses than older women. Women also wear a Kupf-ti'echle or a black, polka-dot-peppered head covering. Girls between the ages of 3 to about 10 wear a mitz which is bonnet-like head covering.
Who owns what in the colony?
Goods are owned communally in the community, i.e., all moneys earned from different businesses belong to everyone on the colony. If members need different items, they ask for it and if it is a necessary item, it is bought for them. Most items are given out according to the need (Acts 2:44-47; Acts 4:32-35). Things like farm equipment, vehicles, etc, are bought and paid for by the colony and used by whoever needs or is responsible for them.
Any kind of Aagnutz (Eigennutz, any method of earning personal spending money) is frowned upon and greatly discouraged, especially by the Schmiedeleut branch. The example of Ananias and Sapphira is often sited as proof that aagnutz is a vice that ought to be avoided (Acts 5:1-11). Hutterites have some personal belongings in their homes though that the colony provides for them or allows them to purchase.
Hutterites have a dress code. The dress code is more pronounced with some groups, i.e. the Lehrerleut and the Dariusleut in Alberta and Saskatchewan. The Schmiedeleut Hutterian Brethren's dress code is typically as follows: men wear suspenders, usually black or dark trousers, and any kind of buttoned shirt. Married men traditionally wear a beard.
Women wear below-knee-length dresses; younger women and girls wear brighter colored dresses than older women. Women also wear a Kupf-ti'echle or a black, polka-dot-peppered head covering. Girls between the ages of 3 to about 10 wear a mitz which is bonnet-like head covering.
Who owns what in the colony?
Goods are owned communally in the community, i.e., all moneys earned from different businesses belong to everyone on the colony. If members need different items, they ask for it and if it is a necessary item, it is bought for them. Most items are given out according to the need (Acts 2:44-47; Acts 4:32-35). Things like farm equipment, vehicles, etc, are bought and paid for by the colony and used by whoever needs or is responsible for them.
Any kind of Aagnutz (Eigennutz, any method of earning personal spending money) is frowned upon and greatly discouraged, especially by the Schmiedeleut branch. The example of Ananias and Sapphira is often sited as proof that aagnutz is a vice that ought to be avoided (Acts 5:1-11). Hutterites have some personal belongings in their homes though that the colony provides for them or allows them to purchase.
What languages do Hutterites speak?
Hutterites speak a German dialect, more specifically a dialect they picked up from the Carinthian province in Austria. Hutterites originated in southern Austria and northern Italy (the area of Tyrol) and Carinthia - www.hutteritehistory.org
Hutterites actually speak three languages: Hutterisch, their German dialect; German, standard German which they learn in school; and English.
Hutterites speak a German dialect, more specifically a dialect they picked up from the Carinthian province in Austria. Hutterites originated in southern Austria and northern Italy (the area of Tyrol) and Carinthia - www.hutteritehistory.org
Hutterites actually speak three languages: Hutterisch, their German dialect; German, standard German which they learn in school; and English.
Where (in the world) are Hutterites found?
Today Hutterites are found in the provinces of Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta, and British Colombia. In the US they are in North and South Dakota, Minnesota, Washington and Montana.
Schmiedeleut Hutterites are confined to Manitoba, North and South Dakota, and Minnesota.
Darius- and Lehrerleut live in western North America: Saskatchewan, Alberta, British Colombia, Washington, and Montana.
The Bruderhofers, who are not Hutterites (but were twice united with the Hutterian Brethren Church in the last 60 years) have six communities in New York, Pennsylvania, and in England (www.bruderhof.org).
How do the Hutterites follow the command of Jesus to "be fishers of men", i.e., evangelization of the lost?
The Lord commanded his people to "go and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost" (Mat. 28:19). The Hutterian Brethren have felt somewhat guilty of their mission efforts in the recent past. So in the past few years more effort has been put forth in this area. Currently ,the Hutterian Brethren are involved in a mission field in Nigeria, Africa.
Today Hutterites are found in the provinces of Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta, and British Colombia. In the US they are in North and South Dakota, Minnesota, Washington and Montana.
Schmiedeleut Hutterites are confined to Manitoba, North and South Dakota, and Minnesota.
Darius- and Lehrerleut live in western North America: Saskatchewan, Alberta, British Colombia, Washington, and Montana.
The Bruderhofers, who are not Hutterites (but were twice united with the Hutterian Brethren Church in the last 60 years) have six communities in New York, Pennsylvania, and in England (www.bruderhof.org).
How do the Hutterites follow the command of Jesus to "be fishers of men", i.e., evangelization of the lost?
The Lord commanded his people to "go and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost" (Mat. 28:19). The Hutterian Brethren have felt somewhat guilty of their mission efforts in the recent past. So in the past few years more effort has been put forth in this area. Currently ,the Hutterian Brethren are involved in a mission field in Nigeria, Africa.
Many of our ministers and other members and others have been in Nigeria, living with the natives and teaching them about Christ and the community. The community is called Palm Grove and about 300 members live there. Their has been lots of spiritual and economic struggles, but the outlook seems promising as these Nigerians are slowly learning. In addition, they need support to sustain themselves and the Brethren have been involved in helping them to become self-sufficient.
You can view an online blog by Lance Waldner, one of the missionaries, at www.hutterites.org/bridge.
What do the women do primarily?
Women on Hutterite colonies are typically housewives, cooks, gardeners, teachers (German, English, and Nursery), seamstress, and secretary for different business.
Work in a Hutterite community is usually done together in large groups. For example, gardens cover a few acres. When hoeing, there are often in excess of a dozen women helping, so large jobs are made small. Cooking is done in weekly rotations, e.g. two women would be the cooks for the week, in addition to the head cook. Also, unmarried ladies often teach school on the colony. Some have teaching degrees, others take informal training. Older Hutterite women take care of children in the Kindergarten, teaching them religious songs, prayers and cooperation.
What about dating practices?
Young people are provided means for meeting each other if they are from different communities (they usually are); for example, they could ask for permission to go for a visit, or they might be in the area and drop in for the day.
We strongly encourage purity in relationships, for we want our young people to be a witness to Christ. If young people think that they have been led together by God, they are encouraged to remain totally pure in their relationship. Impurity is dealt with severely. The Schmiedeleut Hutterian Brethren have an "open door" policy for young people who are courting.
Can a person become a Hutterite?
Yes. If a person is really sincere about becoming a Hutterite, he or she could potentially join. Of course, one would first have to live on a Hutterite Colony for a time to ensure that they really do want to join. A serious candidate would obviously have to fully agree with the doctrine of the Hutterian Brethren Church and be willing to give up all personal ownership. Upon being baptised, he or she would be considered a full-fledged Hutterite
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Lethbridge to California to Quebec and back
Well that was a trip and a half, i thought it was just a quick trip down to Los Angeles and back. Going to LA happened, then i got my backload but instaead of going back to Alberta, it was delivering in Northern Quebec, that was a bit of a shock !!!
Well i got loaded up, scaled off and started motoring North East, first port of call was Richfield in Utah. While i was driving up i got a phone call off Kev & Lisa who said they were going up to Montreal. We agreed on a meeting place so we could drive up together. Well we did meet up and basically travelled together for almost the rest of the trip.
One slight problem i had was a collapsing load, on the second day it started to lean backwards. I tried using my load locks (load securing bars) a slightly different way because the weight of the load was just pushing all 4 of them out of the way. I still had one of them going across the load but the other 3 were set lengthways and wedged in the drain holes, it looked a little scary but it did the job and the lean didnt get any worse.
The drive up through Colorado was amazing, we drove up the river (okay at the side of the river), passing through Indiana and up through Michigan to Sania where we crossed into Canada.
Kev & Lisa insisted on inviting me over for meals which was fantastic, that corned beef hash was excellent although next time i will let it cool down a bit, i wasnt joking when i said the inside of my mouth blistered.
Anyway they stayed in Montreal waiting for their next load and i pressed on northwards to Quebec City where i was due to deliver. Now that is one beautifull place to visit if you ever get the chance, and the bridges you drive over are awesome.............
Aaagh damn did i just say awsome, i absolutely hate that word and i said i would never ever use it, oh well never mind, it was awesome anyway so take a camera..........and some warm clothes coz it gets cold up there.
Anyhoo, i delivered that night and got down to Montreal, found Kev & Lisa parked up at a Petro, there was a gap a few trucks down so i parked up, pulled the curtains and called it a night, I shouted "Your a night !!!"
Actually no i didnt shout anything but i thought i would throw in a small comedy moment.
Next morning Kev came over to wake me up "thanks Kev"and to tell me his load West was ready. I couldnt move for the next few hours coz of the logbook so we arranged to meet up at the Flying J then ship on out.
I eventually got my load and met up with another H&R driver called Wiebe, im hoping hes reading this coz i cant get into his website, hey Wiebe, can you post your web address in the comments please.
So all that was left was the drive West, i have to tell you this little story so sorry Kev but it was funny.
We were parked at a Husky and ordering supper, Lisa asked what the "Special"was and was told it was Prime Rib. Lisa decided to have that and i thought, yep, that sounds good í'll have that too. Well the food turned up and Kev said he was paying, i said thank you and carried on eating.
After the meal was done Kev turned the bill over, turned white and nearly fell off his chair, the bill was just over $60, it turns out the "Special"was $20 and not including the tax, after Kev managed to speak again i told him there was no way i was letting him cover that so i put $20 in the pot and covered the tip.
The moral there dear readers is if you order the "Special"then ask how much it is.
Oh yes talking about money, i aquired a million dollar note from Wiebe and i spent the next 4 days trying to spend it, i have to admit i did milk the joke a little bit but i got great mileage out of it, responses ranged from "har har very funny"to one girl who informed me that she was only allowed to accept up to $200 american.
The funniest response was from an elderly gent who was in the queue behind me who asked me if it was real, i cant believe he thought i was ordering a burger and coffee with a million buck note.
Well that was it for the excitement till we got to Portage La Prarie and parted company, we had a freezing rain storm, Kev & Lisa had the worsed part of it and literally had to park up.
I pressed on to Moose Jaw and called it a night, im glad i did coz next morning as i drove towards Swift Current i saw 4 rigs in the ditch and one of them looked pretty mangled up.
From there i did a trailer change just west of Calgary then bobtailed into the yard, 30 minutes later i was heading south to Lethbridge with a load and got in last night.
Well that was my 2 weeks, how was yours ???
Well i got loaded up, scaled off and started motoring North East, first port of call was Richfield in Utah. While i was driving up i got a phone call off Kev & Lisa who said they were going up to Montreal. We agreed on a meeting place so we could drive up together. Well we did meet up and basically travelled together for almost the rest of the trip.
One slight problem i had was a collapsing load, on the second day it started to lean backwards. I tried using my load locks (load securing bars) a slightly different way because the weight of the load was just pushing all 4 of them out of the way. I still had one of them going across the load but the other 3 were set lengthways and wedged in the drain holes, it looked a little scary but it did the job and the lean didnt get any worse.
The drive up through Colorado was amazing, we drove up the river (okay at the side of the river), passing through Indiana and up through Michigan to Sania where we crossed into Canada.
Kev & Lisa insisted on inviting me over for meals which was fantastic, that corned beef hash was excellent although next time i will let it cool down a bit, i wasnt joking when i said the inside of my mouth blistered.
Anyway they stayed in Montreal waiting for their next load and i pressed on northwards to Quebec City where i was due to deliver. Now that is one beautifull place to visit if you ever get the chance, and the bridges you drive over are awesome.............
Aaagh damn did i just say awsome, i absolutely hate that word and i said i would never ever use it, oh well never mind, it was awesome anyway so take a camera..........and some warm clothes coz it gets cold up there.
Anyhoo, i delivered that night and got down to Montreal, found Kev & Lisa parked up at a Petro, there was a gap a few trucks down so i parked up, pulled the curtains and called it a night, I shouted "Your a night !!!"
Actually no i didnt shout anything but i thought i would throw in a small comedy moment.
Next morning Kev came over to wake me up "thanks Kev"and to tell me his load West was ready. I couldnt move for the next few hours coz of the logbook so we arranged to meet up at the Flying J then ship on out.
I eventually got my load and met up with another H&R driver called Wiebe, im hoping hes reading this coz i cant get into his website, hey Wiebe, can you post your web address in the comments please.
So all that was left was the drive West, i have to tell you this little story so sorry Kev but it was funny.
We were parked at a Husky and ordering supper, Lisa asked what the "Special"was and was told it was Prime Rib. Lisa decided to have that and i thought, yep, that sounds good í'll have that too. Well the food turned up and Kev said he was paying, i said thank you and carried on eating.
After the meal was done Kev turned the bill over, turned white and nearly fell off his chair, the bill was just over $60, it turns out the "Special"was $20 and not including the tax, after Kev managed to speak again i told him there was no way i was letting him cover that so i put $20 in the pot and covered the tip.
The moral there dear readers is if you order the "Special"then ask how much it is.
Oh yes talking about money, i aquired a million dollar note from Wiebe and i spent the next 4 days trying to spend it, i have to admit i did milk the joke a little bit but i got great mileage out of it, responses ranged from "har har very funny"to one girl who informed me that she was only allowed to accept up to $200 american.
The funniest response was from an elderly gent who was in the queue behind me who asked me if it was real, i cant believe he thought i was ordering a burger and coffee with a million buck note.
Well that was it for the excitement till we got to Portage La Prarie and parted company, we had a freezing rain storm, Kev & Lisa had the worsed part of it and literally had to park up.
I pressed on to Moose Jaw and called it a night, im glad i did coz next morning as i drove towards Swift Current i saw 4 rigs in the ditch and one of them looked pretty mangled up.
From there i did a trailer change just west of Calgary then bobtailed into the yard, 30 minutes later i was heading south to Lethbridge with a load and got in last night.
Well that was my 2 weeks, how was yours ???
A moment to breathe (at last)
Well im back at home for a few days and hopefully i will get a bit of down time so i can recharge the batteries a little and take some (i think) well deserved rest. Also i can catch up on the emails and updating on here.
Life seems to have gone into overdrive these last few months but thats really the way i planned it. We have had quite a busy summer with buting the house, Claire & Andy coming over, the trip back to UK and also dont forget the immigration.
Ive also taken quite a bit of time off, thats one of the nice things about this job, you take whatever time off you want within reason, ive never been questioned about it anyway, you just have to remember that any holiday pay is paid in your wages so if you aint driving you aint earning.
So when we returned to Canada after the UK trip i decided i was going to burn a little extra rubber to make sure all the expenses were covered and we still had a comfortable christmas, plus we want to have some building work done in the spring and it all costs money.
Well the miles came in thick and fast and i think ive made up for the time off in the summer, trouble is now christmas is coming up a little too fast for comfort and im not having much time to get things done, which is why ive taken these few days off to try and catch up.
I think im going to have to make some changes to the blog too, as you know i have broken camera number 3 and also the computer at home has commited suicide, this means Jan cant update the google map. Also i am trying to avoid spending evenings on the internet when i am on the road because i have discovered that if i leave the computer alone i can be a lot more productive and get home a little sooner.
I think my driving style has changed a little since the summer, i dont hop from Flying J to Flying J so much now and i will tend to press on a little further each day, pushing the envelope if you like, i dont know if my dispatcher has noticed this but now my deadlines seem a little tighter so i get round my routes a little quicker. Even though the distances are the same so in theory the pay is the same, because i get round quicker, i get home quicker, so i have my days off earlier and i get back out on the next run quicker, so overall the pay goes up. And thats basically whats been happening. I always keep a running account of my monthly pay and i have been running this spreadsheet in one form or another since i left the Army.
I like plotting my pay because it is easy to look at the graphs i have plotted and you can see how your income fluctuates seasonally or from job to job, thats how i noticed i was slacking off a little over the summer, it was nice to see those bars shooting straight back up though.
Now this next bit is really for people cotemplating coming over to Canada or have just come over, the advice or hints (call it what you will) is really aimed at families coming over and is really based on our findings and experiencies over the last 12 months (note thats not since we have been here).
Most families are in the same situation as us, one of the adults get the idea to emigrate, speaks to their partner, if they both agree they put the idea to the kid(s) then if everyone agrees then the research beguins.
You get the job offer, get the visas sorted and maybe do a visit, then the house goes on the market and i think most people start selling all their posessions.
Then the big day comes, you pack the suitcases, say your tearfull goodbyes, all your relatives promise to come and visit you, you jump in the hire car, drive to the airport, look over your shoulder and give your last farewell wave to Blighty.
12 hours later you are standing in Canada with your suitcases, passport and Temp Work Permit clutched tightly in your mit and a bank account full of the proceeds of a sold house and posessions.
So far so good.....................................................
Now comes the hard bit, that well stuffed bank account wont stay full very long if you dont plan what you are going to do with it, and that plan should be for the next 3 years at least, its not as easy as you think.
Some (a lot) of people do the obvious thing, they use the money to instantly set themselves up and to be quite honest thats very easy to do in Canada, you get a mortgage and whack down a hefty deposit (to keep the monthly payments down right?) get a brand new car and pay cash, (that is such a fantastic feeling) then go out and order all the furniture you are going to need and again cash is king.
Well you are all set up, new house on a nice estate, shiney new car on the drive, lovely leather suite and the all important 42 " flat screen...........................................
But guess what ???????
Your bank account is now almost empty, and basically you are in the same situation you were in when you were back in UK, all thats changed is the side of the road you drive on, oh yes and back in UK your wife (husband) was allowed to work so you could have 2 wages coming in.
Okay so you have done all that, started work, and everything is going to plan, and then you reach the 6 or 9 or 12 month point and you start applying for that expensive immigration, your car insurance is due, your house insurance is due, your kids need dental work (braces work out at about $4000 per mouth, if you got 3 kids then you do the math)
Now can you see why i said plan for the first 3 years, its the stuff that you dont think about when you first came over.........................................
When we came over we didnt buy a house, we rented, okay we had a new car (6 months old) but it was a small car, a 2 liter automatic but it was an estate wagon so we can still haul stuff around. We did it all in slow time, keeping money back, buying the house when the time was right. Im sharing this information with you to help you make the right decisions (for you) and hopefully help you make it work.
When you have made the decision to make a new life in Canada, most of you will have cash for house sales and when you convert it to Canadian $$$ then it doubles.
This is probably the only time in your life that you will have the opportunity (and financies) to make a complete fresh start, its an exciting time but its also a very dangerous one.
Living the dream can lead to a living nightmare, be sensible and play safe..........................
Life seems to have gone into overdrive these last few months but thats really the way i planned it. We have had quite a busy summer with buting the house, Claire & Andy coming over, the trip back to UK and also dont forget the immigration.
Ive also taken quite a bit of time off, thats one of the nice things about this job, you take whatever time off you want within reason, ive never been questioned about it anyway, you just have to remember that any holiday pay is paid in your wages so if you aint driving you aint earning.
So when we returned to Canada after the UK trip i decided i was going to burn a little extra rubber to make sure all the expenses were covered and we still had a comfortable christmas, plus we want to have some building work done in the spring and it all costs money.
Well the miles came in thick and fast and i think ive made up for the time off in the summer, trouble is now christmas is coming up a little too fast for comfort and im not having much time to get things done, which is why ive taken these few days off to try and catch up.
I think im going to have to make some changes to the blog too, as you know i have broken camera number 3 and also the computer at home has commited suicide, this means Jan cant update the google map. Also i am trying to avoid spending evenings on the internet when i am on the road because i have discovered that if i leave the computer alone i can be a lot more productive and get home a little sooner.
I think my driving style has changed a little since the summer, i dont hop from Flying J to Flying J so much now and i will tend to press on a little further each day, pushing the envelope if you like, i dont know if my dispatcher has noticed this but now my deadlines seem a little tighter so i get round my routes a little quicker. Even though the distances are the same so in theory the pay is the same, because i get round quicker, i get home quicker, so i have my days off earlier and i get back out on the next run quicker, so overall the pay goes up. And thats basically whats been happening. I always keep a running account of my monthly pay and i have been running this spreadsheet in one form or another since i left the Army.
I like plotting my pay because it is easy to look at the graphs i have plotted and you can see how your income fluctuates seasonally or from job to job, thats how i noticed i was slacking off a little over the summer, it was nice to see those bars shooting straight back up though.
Now this next bit is really for people cotemplating coming over to Canada or have just come over, the advice or hints (call it what you will) is really aimed at families coming over and is really based on our findings and experiencies over the last 12 months (note thats not since we have been here).
Most families are in the same situation as us, one of the adults get the idea to emigrate, speaks to their partner, if they both agree they put the idea to the kid(s) then if everyone agrees then the research beguins.
You get the job offer, get the visas sorted and maybe do a visit, then the house goes on the market and i think most people start selling all their posessions.
Then the big day comes, you pack the suitcases, say your tearfull goodbyes, all your relatives promise to come and visit you, you jump in the hire car, drive to the airport, look over your shoulder and give your last farewell wave to Blighty.
12 hours later you are standing in Canada with your suitcases, passport and Temp Work Permit clutched tightly in your mit and a bank account full of the proceeds of a sold house and posessions.
So far so good.....................................................
Now comes the hard bit, that well stuffed bank account wont stay full very long if you dont plan what you are going to do with it, and that plan should be for the next 3 years at least, its not as easy as you think.
Some (a lot) of people do the obvious thing, they use the money to instantly set themselves up and to be quite honest thats very easy to do in Canada, you get a mortgage and whack down a hefty deposit (to keep the monthly payments down right?) get a brand new car and pay cash, (that is such a fantastic feeling) then go out and order all the furniture you are going to need and again cash is king.
Well you are all set up, new house on a nice estate, shiney new car on the drive, lovely leather suite and the all important 42 " flat screen...........................................
But guess what ???????
Your bank account is now almost empty, and basically you are in the same situation you were in when you were back in UK, all thats changed is the side of the road you drive on, oh yes and back in UK your wife (husband) was allowed to work so you could have 2 wages coming in.
Okay so you have done all that, started work, and everything is going to plan, and then you reach the 6 or 9 or 12 month point and you start applying for that expensive immigration, your car insurance is due, your house insurance is due, your kids need dental work (braces work out at about $4000 per mouth, if you got 3 kids then you do the math)
Now can you see why i said plan for the first 3 years, its the stuff that you dont think about when you first came over.........................................
When we came over we didnt buy a house, we rented, okay we had a new car (6 months old) but it was a small car, a 2 liter automatic but it was an estate wagon so we can still haul stuff around. We did it all in slow time, keeping money back, buying the house when the time was right. Im sharing this information with you to help you make the right decisions (for you) and hopefully help you make it work.
When you have made the decision to make a new life in Canada, most of you will have cash for house sales and when you convert it to Canadian $$$ then it doubles.
This is probably the only time in your life that you will have the opportunity (and financies) to make a complete fresh start, its an exciting time but its also a very dangerous one.
Living the dream can lead to a living nightmare, be sensible and play safe..........................
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Very quick post
Just a quick post to say sorry for the lack of posting, ive been pushing out the miles lately but should be in town in the next few days when posts will be posted, emails answered, phone cals made and hopefully everything up to date.
If you have emailed lately, asked questions or just left comments on the blog, please accept my sinsere apologies, i havent forgotten about you but please be patient.
If you have emailed lately, asked questions or just left comments on the blog, please accept my sinsere apologies, i havent forgotten about you but please be patient.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Some jokes coz im bored
Brokeback Garden
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked"They're mating," her father replied."What do you call the spider on top?" she asked."That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered."So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question hereplied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment then tookher foot and stomped them flat and said, "Well, we're not having any of that gay shit in our garden."
Sex Communication
Two deaf people get married and during the first week ofmarriage they find that they are unable to communicate in thebedroom with the lights out since they can't see each othersigning, or lips to lip-read.After several nights of fumbling around and manymisunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution."Honey, why don't we agree on some simple signals? Forinstance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach overand squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to havesex, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times."The husband thinks this is a great idea. He suggests to hiswife if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on hispenis one time. If she doesn't want to have sex, pull on his penistwo hundred and fifty times.
The Question
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?"The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"The boy replied, "Yes. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but Realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo."
Plastic Surgery
A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!" The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself." "The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago." "And what about the third rose?" she asked. "That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."
Country Girls are so Smart
There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the marriage counselor's
office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away.
There were two city gals and one farm gal.
The counselor asked them if they planned on having a baby right away or were going to
wait awhile. They all agreed that they had discussed this with their potential husbands
and all agreed to wait awhile.
Well the counselor asked the first gal what type of birth control she planned to use. Her
answer was, the rhythm method. That will work said the counselor if you keep a good record.
He asked the second gal what system she planned on using. I plan on using birth control pills
she said. Again he said, yes that will work as long as you don't forget to take them.
He then asked the farm girl what system she was planning on using. Her answer was the pail
and saucer method. After a short delay, he again told her that should also work.
He asked them all to come back in one year on a specific date for a follow up on how things
were going.
They all met again one year later and the two city gals were pregnant. Only the farm gal was
slim and trim yet.
Well the counselor asked the first gal what method she used and what went wrong. She
replied that she used the rhythm method but somehow got her notes mixed up and, well here
I am, going to have a baby.
He asked the second city gal what method she used and she replied, the birth control pill
but we were camping and I didn't have my pills with me and as you can see, I too am going
to have a baby.
He turns to the farm gal and told her that I vaguely remember you were going to use the pail
and saucer method. Now I must admit that I don't have a clue what the pail and saucer method is.
Will you explain it to me as I see it has worked well for you.
She replied, Well we make love standing up, and since I am quite a bit taller than my husband,
he stands on a pail turned upside down. Now as we are making love, I watch his eyes, and when
his eyes get as big as saucers, I kick the pail out from under him.
Get Serious
In the nursing home one evening, the old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting. For $5, I'll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair."The old lady looked surprised, but didn't say a word. The old man continued, "For $10 I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for $20 I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life."The old lady still said nothing, but after a couple minutes, she started digging down in her purse. She pulled out a wrinkled $20 bill and held it up."So you want the nice romantic evening in my room," said the old man."Get serious," she replied. "Four times in the rocking chair".
A true story
A true story about a fly, a fish, a bear, a hunter, a mouse and a cat.
There is a moral to this story, but not exactly the one most of us are expecting!
In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake.
The hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh...if I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."
There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him."
There was a bear on the shore thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches that fish will jump for the fly...and I will grab him!"
It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich....
"Gosh," he thought, "if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish leaps for it...that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch."
Now, you probably think this is enough activity on one bank of a lake, but I can tell you there's more....
A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish jumps for that fly... and that bear grabs for that fish...the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich."
A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, (as was fashionable to do on the banks of this particular lake around lunch time)' "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches..and that fish jumps for that fly ... and that bear grabs for that fish and that hunter shoots that bear...and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich ... then I can have mouse for lunch."
The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water.
The fish swallows the fly... The bear grabs the fish... The hunter shoots the bear.. The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich... The cat jumps for the mouse.. The mouse ducks...The cat falls into the water and drowns.
The moral of the story is:
Whenever a fly goes down three inches, some pussy is in serious danger
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked"They're mating," her father replied."What do you call the spider on top?" she asked."That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered."So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question hereplied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment then tookher foot and stomped them flat and said, "Well, we're not having any of that gay shit in our garden."
Sex Communication
Two deaf people get married and during the first week ofmarriage they find that they are unable to communicate in thebedroom with the lights out since they can't see each othersigning, or lips to lip-read.After several nights of fumbling around and manymisunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution."Honey, why don't we agree on some simple signals? Forinstance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach overand squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to havesex, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times."The husband thinks this is a great idea. He suggests to hiswife if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on hispenis one time. If she doesn't want to have sex, pull on his penistwo hundred and fifty times.
The Question
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?"The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"The boy replied, "Yes. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but Realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo."
Plastic Surgery
A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!" The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself." "The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago." "And what about the third rose?" she asked. "That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."
Country Girls are so Smart
There were three gals who were getting married and all met at the marriage counselor's
office to discuss the options of having or not having a baby right away.
There were two city gals and one farm gal.
The counselor asked them if they planned on having a baby right away or were going to
wait awhile. They all agreed that they had discussed this with their potential husbands
and all agreed to wait awhile.
Well the counselor asked the first gal what type of birth control she planned to use. Her
answer was, the rhythm method. That will work said the counselor if you keep a good record.
He asked the second gal what system she planned on using. I plan on using birth control pills
she said. Again he said, yes that will work as long as you don't forget to take them.
He then asked the farm girl what system she was planning on using. Her answer was the pail
and saucer method. After a short delay, he again told her that should also work.
He asked them all to come back in one year on a specific date for a follow up on how things
were going.
They all met again one year later and the two city gals were pregnant. Only the farm gal was
slim and trim yet.
Well the counselor asked the first gal what method she used and what went wrong. She
replied that she used the rhythm method but somehow got her notes mixed up and, well here
I am, going to have a baby.
He asked the second city gal what method she used and she replied, the birth control pill
but we were camping and I didn't have my pills with me and as you can see, I too am going
to have a baby.
He turns to the farm gal and told her that I vaguely remember you were going to use the pail
and saucer method. Now I must admit that I don't have a clue what the pail and saucer method is.
Will you explain it to me as I see it has worked well for you.
She replied, Well we make love standing up, and since I am quite a bit taller than my husband,
he stands on a pail turned upside down. Now as we are making love, I watch his eyes, and when
his eyes get as big as saucers, I kick the pail out from under him.
Get Serious
In the nursing home one evening, the old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting. For $5, I'll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair."The old lady looked surprised, but didn't say a word. The old man continued, "For $10 I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for $20 I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life."The old lady still said nothing, but after a couple minutes, she started digging down in her purse. She pulled out a wrinkled $20 bill and held it up."So you want the nice romantic evening in my room," said the old man."Get serious," she replied. "Four times in the rocking chair".
A true story
A true story about a fly, a fish, a bear, a hunter, a mouse and a cat.
There is a moral to this story, but not exactly the one most of us are expecting!
In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake.
The hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh...if I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."
There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him."
There was a bear on the shore thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches that fish will jump for the fly...and I will grab him!"
It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich....
"Gosh," he thought, "if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish leaps for it...that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch."
Now, you probably think this is enough activity on one bank of a lake, but I can tell you there's more....
A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish jumps for that fly... and that bear grabs for that fish...the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich."
A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, (as was fashionable to do on the banks of this particular lake around lunch time)' "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches..and that fish jumps for that fly ... and that bear grabs for that fish and that hunter shoots that bear...and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich ... then I can have mouse for lunch."
The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water.
The fish swallows the fly... The bear grabs the fish... The hunter shoots the bear.. The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich... The cat jumps for the mouse.. The mouse ducks...The cat falls into the water and drowns.
The moral of the story is:
Whenever a fly goes down three inches, some pussy is in serious danger
California to Quebec
Well i thought this latest trip was going to be short and sweet, pick up a load and take it to California, 2 deliveries in Los Angeles then a run straight back into Canada. I made the deliveries and my backload was from just north of Bakersfield and take it to.................
Duberger in Quebec !!!
Okay so i looked at the map, worked out the miles and route and thats where i am heading now. I met up with Kev and Lisa at Richfield Utah which is where we are now. They invited me over for a Chilli later so im looking forward to that then tomorrow morning its saddle up and ship out.
I still havent replaced the camera yet so heres a map of the complete route.
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