Remember folks the last post is at the top. To start at the beginning try looking HERE at the bottom of the page.

Monday, June 30, 2008

When is a Railroad not a Railroad ?





On my travels around the States I have encountered many interesting things, from a palace dedicated to corn and museums singing the praises of the humble potato, to Giant statues of Bison and reconstructions of Forts from long forgotten eras. One of the most fascinating things I have come across is the Railroad that wasn’t a Railroad. It was a system or a method of rescuing African American Slaves from a life of servitude and helping them to Escape to Northern USA or even to Canada and Mexico. The following is not my own work but a compilation of passages that I have put together in a way that I hope best describes this phenomenon.

Resistance to lifetime servitude began with the first Africans forcibly brought to the Western Hemisphere in the 1500s, and resistance continued until the last emancipations in the Americas. For the former British colonies which became the United States, colonial-era resistance and early antislavery activities are the base on which the Underground Railroad was built. Without resistance, there would have been no need for the extensive legal codes which upheld property rights in human beings or for the brutal intimidation which always existed just beneath the surface of this coercive social system.

The circumstances which gave rise to the Underground Railroad were based on the transportation of Africans to North America as part of the Atlantic slave trade. About twelve million Africans were transported across the Atlantic to the Western Hemisphere in the 400 years from 1450 to 1850. Of this number, only about five per cent were brought to British North America and, later, to the United States from Africa, most of them arriving between 1680 and 1808. Varied forms of bonded labor had existed in Europe and Africa, but as the need for labor grew in the New World's plantations and mines, the importation of unwilling Africans also grew. In early North America, the system of lifetime servitude, or slavery, was supported by an elaborate and severe legal code based on race. A few Africans slipped through that legal net and were free, but not many.

The Underground Railroad was neither "underground" nor a "railroad," but was a loose network of aid and assistance to fugitives from bondage. Perhaps as many as one hundred thousand enslaved persons may have escaped in the years between the American Revolution and the Civil War.

In 1990, Congress authorized the National Park Service to conduct a study of the Underground Railroad, its routes and operations in order to preserve and interpret this aspect of United States history. This study includes a general overview of the Underground Railroad, with a brief discussion of slavery and abolitionism, escape routes used by slaves, and alternatives for commemoration and interpretation of the significance of the phenomenon.

The Underground Railroad refers to the effort --sometimes spontaneous, sometimes highly organized -- to assist persons held in bondage in North America to escape from slavery. While most runaways began their journey unaided and many completed their self-emancipation without assistance, each decade in which slavery was legal in the United States saw an increase in the public perception of an underground network and in the number of persons willing to give aid to the runaway. Although divided, the abolitionist movement was successful in expanding the informal network known as the underground railroad and in publicizing it.

The term "underground railroad" had no meaning to the generations before the first rails and engines of the 1820s, but the retrospective use of the term in is made so as to include incidents which have all the characteristics of underground railroad activity, but which occurred earlier. These activities foreshadowed and helped to shape the underground railroad. The origin of the term "underground railroad" cannot be precisely determined. What is known is that both those who aided escapees from slavery and those who were outraged by loss of slave property began to refer to runaways as part of an "underground railroad" by 1840. The "underground railroad" described an activity that was locally organized, but with no real center. It existed rather openly in the North and just beneath the surface of daily life in the upper South and certain Southern cities. The underground railroad, where it existed, offered local service to runaway slaves, assisting them from one point to another. Farther along, others would take the passenger into their transportation system until the final destination had been reached. The rapidity with which the term became commonly used did not mean that incidents of resistance to slavery increased significantly around 1830 or that more attempts were made to escape from bondage. It did mean that more white northerners were prepared to aid runaways and to give some assistance to the northern blacks who had always made it their business to help escapees from slavery.

The primary importance of the underground railroad was that it gave ample evidence of African American capabilities and gave expression to African American philosophy. Perhaps the most important factor or aspect to keep in mind concerning the underground railroad is that its importance is not measured by the number of attempted or successful escapes from American slavery, but by the manner in which it consistently exposed the grim realities of slavery and --more important-- refuted the claim that African Americans could not act or organize on their own. The secondary importance of the underground railroad was that it provided an opportunity for sympathetic white Americans to play a role in resisting slavery. It also brought together, however uneasily at times, men and women of both races to begin to set aside assumptions about the other race and to work together on issues of mutual concern. At the most dramatic level, the underground railroad provided stories of guided escapes from the South, rescues of arrested fugitives in the North, complex communication systems, and individual acts of bravery and suffering. While most of the accounts of secret passageways, sliding wall panels, and hidden rooms will not be verified by historic evidence, there were indeed sufficient dramas to be interpreted and verified.

Harriet Tubman (born Araminta Ross, c. 1820 – 10 March 1913) was an African-American abolitionist, humanitarian, and Union spy during the U.S. Civil War. After escaping from captivity, she made thirteen missions to rescue over seventy slaves using the network of antislavery activists and safe houses known as the Underground Railroad. She later helped John Brown recruit men for his raid on Harpers Ferry, and in the post-war era struggled for women's suffrage.

Born into slavery in Dorchester County, Maryland, Tubman was beaten and whipped by her various owners as a child. Early in her life, she suffered a traumatic head wound when an irate slave owner threw a heavy metal weight at her, intending to hit another slave. The injury caused disabling seizures, headaches, and powerful visionary and dream activity, and spells of hypersomnia which occurred throughout her entire life. A devout Christian, she ascribed her visions and vivid dreams to premonitions from God.

In 1849, Tubman escaped to Philadelphia, then immediately returned to Maryland to rescue her family. Slowly, one group at a time, she brought relatives with her out of the state, and eventually guided dozens of other slaves to freedom. Traveling by night and in extreme secrecy, Tubman (or "Moses", as she was called) "never lost a passenger". Heavy rewards were offered for many of the people she helped bring away, but no one ever knew it was Harriet Tubman who was helping them. When a far-reaching United States Fugitive Slave Law was passed in 1850, she helped guide fugitives further north into Canada, and helped newly-freed slaves find work.

When the American Civil War began, Tubman worked for the Union Army, first as a cook and nurse, and then as an armed scout and spy. The first woman to lead an armed expedition in the war, she guided the raid on the Combahee River, which liberated more than seven hundred slaves. After the war, she retired to the family home in Auburn, New York, where she cared for her aging parents. She was active in the women's suffrage movement until illness overtook her and she had to be admitted to a home for elderly African-Americans she had helped open years earlier. After she died in 1913, she became an icon of American courage and freedom.

Mission In Possible


Hi Folks

Normal service has now been resumed (for now) and im parked up at the Hook in Fargo North Dakota as my near on impossible delivery time has been put back to Wednesday morning, at least i think it has been put back, i didnt have an origional time but had to be in Chicago by tomorrow, no mean feat when you consider that i only left Lethbridge yesterday afternoon.

Anyway i got a bit of time on my hands this evening so its a cue for a bit of bloggery. These last few weeks i have not done as many miles as i usually do, dont forget we had Claire & Andy over, then we moved house then we had to do the medicals, so now i will be pushing the envelope so to speak.

Okay lets tell you a bit about this trip, first of all i was going to Napoleon in Ohio but i believe the load was late coming out of the factory so i was switched to Summit in Chicago, to be honest its all the same to me and its practically the same route i think, i never looked.

So Jan and I were in Walmart buying cowboy hats and garden sprinklers (no connection) and i thought had better phone in to see if my trailer was due in. No it wasnt but Lorna (my dispatcher) wanted to know where i was. I told her i was in the ladies clothes section in Walmart and she thought that was hilarious. I quickly pointed out that YES Jan was with me, and NO i wasnt trying anything on.

So after our little shopping spree we went over to H&R and i went up stairs to get my keys and say hello to Lorna and Co. After re-explaining (to now all the weekend dispatch team) that No i wasnt shopping for myself, NO i didnt try anything on and No i couldnt find anything to suit me, i finally managed to get my paperweork, bid my farewells and sauntered off to 2148 to go and earn some money.

Up till now its been pretty unaventful apart from Jan telling me the 42" TV has commited suicide. Jan spent most of the day phoning Costco (thats who we bought it from) explaining that we bought it 11 months ago and we didnt keep the reciept so we didnt have proof of purchase.

The guy at the other end of the phone punched a few keys and told us the excact time and date we bought it.

He told Jan to take it back and get a refund, which she did, and bought another one, its excactly the same but now the warranty starts again, big thumbs up to Costco.

Now i used to be a General Store Manager at a company called Tempo back in UK, i used to sell TV's amongst other stuff and i tell you what, that is 100 times better customer service than i was able to offer. I can say that because Tempo have since gone bust, wow that is a story and a half, i will tell you all someday if anyone is interested.

Well thats about it, heres a pic of Jan in her new cowgirl hat ready for the Raymond Stampede, this was why we were in Walmart..........................

Wheres Lyndon Extravagansa

I was feeling brave taking this one

Giant Bison

Heed the warning but where is it

The Clue is in the Graffiti


Im tattered and Torn but where am I?

Friday, June 27, 2008

Myth bustin' - The Immigration medical

We had our immigration medicals today so its fact or fiction time...............

If you want to acheive Permenant Resident status, then you need to have a medical and an X-Ray done, its not cheap but its got to be done. The reason im writing this article is to dismiss all the rumours and hopefully put a few minds at ease................

Please bear in mind that this article is based on our particular experiencies and the particular practices we used, that goes for costs too.............

You cannot take the medical until CIC send you the forms at the appropriate time.
FACT - its the way it works.

You can go to any practitioner.
FICTION - there is a list of approved practitioners and it has to be one of those, the one in Lethbridge will presently take 2 months to get an appointment and some in Calgary arnt even taking bookings.

Its just a tick box exersise.
FICTION - its quite a thorough exam, they check the following
eyes, ears, throat, weight, hieght, blood pressure, pulse, heart beat, reflexes and ask you questions on your life style.

Do you have to drop your pants.
YUP, just cough and think of Canada.

Do they stick fingers up your ass.
NOPE, unless you specifically request it 8¬0

Do they take blood.
YEP, with us they did, if you have tattoos then you have to have AIDS and Hepetitis checks

How much does it cost?
About $185 each plus $35 to $45 each for the X-Rays and an extra $35 each for the blood tests if you have tattoos.

Is everything done at the same place.
NOPE, we arrived at the medical centre in Calgary and we were immediatly given a list of places to get the X-Rays done, sounds complicated but its not.

You get you results straight away.
FICTION, they are sent straight to Ottawa but the doctor told us that everything he checked was okay, he couldnt say for the X-Rays though coz he didnt see them.

Okay guys and gals, thats about it, remember though its not just for the principle applicant, all partys involved have to go through it, Luke missed the blood test by 6 months but apart from that it was endured by all.

It was an all day job, we left Raymond at 06:00, got into Calgary by 09:00 and we finally got home at 20:00 although we did stop off at Denny's for a slap up dinner on the way back but i think we deserved it !!!

Please note i am happy to answer any questions about the medical its self but please remember that we are using VRV as a paid agent to co-ordinate everything for us so i cant (wont) comment on the applications or how the forms are obtained. This was organised for us by VRV and i ask that you respect the confidentality of this service they provided for us.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Back in Lethbridge and Shattered

Hi folks, im back in the 'Bridge but only for a couple of days, ive posted an article i wrote a few days ago, ive read my emails and thanks everyone for writing, i didnt really want to reply to any while im this tired in case i write a load of rubbish so please be patient, im up in Calgary tomorrow but Saturday, i will sit down and all questions will be answered.

Promise !!

Booted off Wal-Mart

Last night I slept in a side street, why, coz I got booted off the Wal-Mart car park…..

So this is the second instalment of my latest little jaunt into The Golden State. We left off last time with me sat in Barstow, just had a mighty fine breakfast courtesy of the Flying Hook and I had just come back from an unsuccessful shopping spree at the local Factory Outlet.

Well the delivery was pretty uneventful, a straight forward drive in through a "Wildfire" which only put me back about 20 minutes, getting there half an hour early and took about an hour to get unloaded. While I was there I macro'ed in and just reminded H&R that I had to be back in Lethbridge for Thursday evening so a quick back load would be the order of the day.

The reply was monkey pickles from the Port……………………..

That was ideal, the plan was to drive straight to the Port, park in Wal-Mart, do a bit of retail therapy in the big shopping mall there, get some Mexican food and chill with the chillis, pull the curtains then mosey on in first thing to be first in the queue.

I left the delivery customer and went round to the Blue Beacon to wash out then took a slightly different route up to the freeway so I could take a look-see at down town Los Angeles. Got on the freeway and spun round to the Port (about 60 miles) and pulled into the Wal-Mart,

As I pulled round the back (where I was told there would be truck parking) the security guard came to pay me a visit, he came flying round the car park with his lights (the ones on the roof) flashing. I think someone has got a little (I wanna be a cop) issue.

I almost said "Is there a problem officer", but thought better of it as he probably wouldn’t understand British sarcasm.

He said I had to move, I said I wanted to shop, he said I could stay and shop, but then I had to go.
I said I had to do paperwork, then, shop, he said I could do paperwork, then shop then I had to go..
Then he pointed out that they closed at 11:00, I told him there wasn’t much paperwork, he got bored and drove off.

I then met my latest new friend, George ………………………

George is a Swift driver who was parked next to me, I thought I would ask if he knew any decent parking in the area.

Now George is I big black guy, built like a brick out house, bald as a billiard ball and talks at Mach 10.

Here's how the opening conversation went:


George: Hey man, what did Deputy Dawg want?
Lyndon: He booted me
off the lot
George: Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Lyndon: What?
George:
Your cap, man, you ain't from no Ghetto
Lyndon: ??????
George:
Go on say something else
Lyndon: Im sorry ive no idea what you are
talking about
George: (Falls about in hysterics)

Okay to cut a long story short, it was my cap, George, who was bought up in Troy was telling me about the are and excactly what the Trojans are……………

Apparently it is quite a rough University Campus in Troy Southern California, it’s a really bad ass ghetto but an excellent University……………………..

I guess my Brummie accent and not too African complexion might stand out a little.

It gave me a great idea for an article though.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Allow me to re-introduce myself

Taken half an hour ago 10:00 am in Barstow california, im wandering off to look in the Retail outlet and the temperature is 37 degrees C, its a hard life, but someone has to do it.


Well it looks as though we are entering a new era.......................
Immigration is like the ocean, it comes in waves, and is full of sharks ;¬>

I think we are just starting a new wave, i say this coz there are a new batch of names in my email inbox, a fresh group of hopefulls with dreams and good intentions and many of you will hopefully find happy new homes and jobs in the Great White North.

My inbox is stuffed to brimming with questions about:

How do i immigrate?

Get a Canadian job, let them do the Temp Work Permits,
move across, start working.


Whats it like in Canada?

Cold in Winter, dress warm................... Hot in
Summer, dress cool.


Which is the best Province?

The one you enjoy living in the most.

How do i get into Ice Driving?

(Dunno) See the next post (when its written)

Did you come into Canada with a Police record?

No but i got in with "Message in a Bottle " on
CD


Do you enjoy it?

What the Police or Canada ??

Do you hate it?

See above............



This coinsides with certain articles about a certain handsome, charming, witty truck driver (guess who ????) by a certain truck driving magasine back in Blighty (Truck & Driver)

Well i know most of you only read the last couple of posts, by the way if you stated right back at the beguining you would practically have a mile by mile account of how to immigrate, anyhoo, if you did by chance read from the start you would know who i am and wha i do. For those you dont here is a recap, now pay attention there will be questions at the end.

I am an Ex Army, Ex ToysRUs Manager, Ex Electrical appliance Store General Manager, Ex furniture salesman, Ex car salesman, Ex British Lorry (god that word sounds weird now) Driver who couldnt stand Britain with its high taxes, expensive living, high gas prices, overcrowded, poluted, ill thought out road infrastucture, who over heared someone elses private conversation (okay sue me !!!) about life in Canada.

Ive seen all the arguements for and against immigrating to Canada, heared all the write ups, read all the "Expert" forums, written on most, got a lifetime ban on one (hehe) and i moderate for another. I speak with people who have made good and i also speak to many people who, for one reason or another it didnt work, or it wasnt for them.

Am i an expert (dunno) do i represent any company (no, definitely not, i do work for H&R Transport but i always try to be objective)

Am i a recruiter, no, i wish you would pay attention, i am a bloody truck driver, i drive a truck, a truck is my second home, i deliver goods in a truck. I AM A TRUCK DRIVER !!!

Can i send you information on driving in Canada, see above and re-read twice.

My name Is Lyndon Lomanovskis and moved to Alberta, Canada July 2007, with my wife Janice, my 14 year old son Luke and our dog Gizmo. We live in a small township (one horse town) called Raymond which is about 20 km SE of Lethbridge.

I work for a temperature controlled Trucking Company called H&R Transport http://www.hrtrans.com/

who are based in Lethbridge. I drive a brand new (20,000km on the odo) Freightliner Cascadia and mostly i take loads down into the States then bring a load back up into Canada.

I am out on the road for anything from 1 week to a fortnight depending on the run, if i am out for a week i take 36 hours off then i am out again, if im out 2 weeks i take about 3 days off.

This Blog is my diary, autobiography, call it what you will, i write excactly what is in my head at that particular moment, i rarely read what i write before i post it and i will never be influenced in what i write, or be forced to remove or change anything (unless i inadvertantly cause offense or distress) in which case there will be an explanation and possibly an appology.

Most of what i write is my own work (and sometimes m own magination) although i do research extensively and on reference material i will cut and paste from pubic domain for context integrity.

As you can imagine i do get a lot of emails, i guarrantee that i will always read them all and everyone gets a reply, if i get asked the same question by a lot of people i will try to do an article on it so more people benefit. I dont always have an internet connection as i am on the road so please bear with me with the emails, and if by some chance you do sip thru the net and you dont get a reply, please give me a (virtual) dig in the ribs and remind me, but please keep them coming, its the only way (apart from the counter) that i know you are all still out there and im not talking to myself.

Anyway thats me, welcome to all the new readers to the blog.

Stay safe out there

Lyndon..................................

Sunday, June 22, 2008

My trip so far ...............


Well i'm sat in the Flying J at Barstow California and i deliver into Vernon in Los Angeles at 16:00 tomorrow although in the morning i will be pestering the dispatchers to try and make it earlier, it doesnt work very often but i always try. The problem is we have got our immigration medicals on Friday and i need to be back in Lethbridge for Thursday evening so i can get a bit of sleep before the early morning drive up to Calgary.

Its the Raymond Stampede on Monday but it looks like i'll miss it, i would love to go but i have had far too much time off lately with Claire & Andy coming over and moving house s i'm going to bite the bullet and as soon as we get back from Calgary i am looking to be going straight out again.

Okay so lets bring you all up to speed...............

I left Lethbridge on Thursday and went to collect my load expecting to camp out at the plant and run down next morning. When i got there the load was ready so i got under it, scaled off and headed south towards the border, i got to Milk River and was knackered so i called it a night and pulled the curtains.

Why was i knackered????? you ask yourselves, well because i wasnt going out till the evening i thought "Sod it", im going to get as much done as i could in those last few hours at home.....

We went shopping, picked up some papers from the lawyers (garage stuff) bought some grass food and weed killer, had a barbeque, did the lawn, drew up the garage plans for the counsel people and i fixed the WiFi on the home laptop.

All this instead of resting................

Anyway next morning i crossed the border, did meat inspection and fuelled up at the Pilot in Shelby, i normally try to avoid that place because they are so crap.................

Okay im sorry, but i think they are and this is my blog and my opinion, and i am the poor idiot who stood in the queue twice to get the pump opened and still had to go out and do it over the phone only to be put on hold, and its a bloody intercom !!!!!

I dont know whether its just me but the card readers never works on which ever pump i go to and there is always some goon in front of me who cant decide whether to have the macaroni or the coleslaw with his eighteen cheeseburgers, half a dozen corn dogs and half hundred weight of chicken strips.

Okay heres a little tip for all of you out there, if you are in a hurry and you need to get your pump open and you are running against the clock, do not get in the queue behind the tourist family because they are in that line for the long haul, if there are only 2 burritos on that hot plate do not set your little heart on one of them because i guarrantee you now the tourist family will have them both, not because they want them, but just to spite you and i also guarrantee you that their little offspring (Howie) who has just piled his breakfast of a bottle of Pepsi, 2 bags of chips, 2 candy bars and a bag of popcorn, 2 cheeseburgers and a family size bag of jerky onto the counter............................

..............is just about to be told by tourist Mom that he cant have them because he didnt eat his breakfast and this will escalate into a full blown touristy tantrum and tourist Dad will end up walking off then tourist kid will drop something on the floor in his tantrum which will break and have to be cleaned up before they can serve you.

Then when you finally make it to the counter armed with all the information you need to purchase the life blood of your trade (Thats diesel to you) the (new) girl behind the counter asks you for your DOT number and Licence plate which if you were me, you wouldnt have got round to memorising and informs you that this is company policy and you will have to go back outside and phone the information in, then when you phone puts you on hold.

Anyway 40 minutes later when i had fuelled the beast, got my reciepts and finally got away from that god forsaken place, i headed south, free and out on the open roads.

Okay so the diesels in the truck, the cards back in its cubby 'ole and im back in the driver's seat.

i got down to Idaho Falls and suddenly realised that i had left my Streets & Trips antenna back in 2162, bugger bugger bugger...............

I send a message to dispatch to get them to ask Dan (Pilot of 2162) if he still has my antenna. He does and even better he is on the I-15 heading north, we meet up at Payson Utah and i get the lead off of im and we have a good old chat, excellent, another friend made 8¬)

Met up with Andy Stone, another H&R driver and met up with him again in Beaver which is in Utah. This morning we drove down to Barstow together chatting on the CB (as you do) which is where we are now.

We are delivering to the same place tomorrow but Andy's appointment is in the morning and mine isnt till the afternoon (unless i can get it changed)

Oh i forgot to mention i stopped off at the Walmart in Nephi UT to get some stuff and while i was there i got some rather nice Fruit Of The Loom T Shirts ($4 each) and a snazzy pair of cargo shorts ready for when the the temperatures go over 45 degrees centigrade, which they did as we came down the mountains into the Californian low ground. Oh yes i got a new hat too !!!

Nasty Wreck


Hope this driver made it out okay, not sure what happened here it looks like a straight bit of road.

Wheres Lyndon - 015


Okay where am i now !!!

Not sure if this will be Terribly easy or very difficult..............................

Working Under Pressure



Heres an interesting observation, if your company is based down at sea level or bellow, for example new Orleans, Portland or New York and packs a sealed food product which is then put on display for sale in a City that is at a high altitude, would the packaging not distort.


Also, while you are pondering that, how about if a food packaging plant was based at high altitude for example Helena or Cheyenne and was dispached to a lower city, would the packaging scrunch up making the product less desireable to the consumer.


Have a look at these pics that i took in the Californian mountains.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Better go and do some work !!!

Well i was supposed to go to Oklahoma this morning which wasnt good, we have just had our medical forms through and i had booked the apointments. There were two choices

1. Go to Oklahoma and rebook the medicals for a later date.
2.Ask if i could have another run.

i opted for option 2 with option 1 as a backup.........................

Well i asked and i got.........

So thanks Deb, and now i am off to Vernon in Los Angeles for a 1 hitter and hopefully i should get a quick load back like bananas.

So that was settled and i leave tonight to collect my load and head south in the morning.

That left me free to sort out more stuff like planning permission for the new garage, getting the home laptop fixed and making a shocking discovery.

My truck was still playing up.....................................

Freightliner fixed the computer and all the other stuff but when i fired the tripak up it would run for a few minutes then cough splutter fart then die............ oh bugger !!!!!!!!

So i skipped over to Terry's (Shop Guy) office and explained the problem, he phoned Thermo King and spun 2148 over to them.

The fitter guy was there waiting and after about 30 seconds he said "Shit in the Condenser"

And i replied "How often do i have to do that then ?????"

HaHa.......................

Sorry thats not really true but its a great joke, its a shame to waste it..........

He really told me that the only problem was a blown condenser fan fuse, and it took about 5 minutes to fix. I always make a point of looking over a fitters' shoulder while he's mending stuff coz you never know what you will learn.

Usually you learn that it really annoys them and they tell you to bugger off (not really).

So now 2148 is a s good as new............
Which is really worrying coz ive had a lot of problems since she was new (look im still joking)

So here i am, sat at home, full to the brim with BBQ food and a really nice fruity juice drink, one of those you buy frozen in the supermarket then thaw and dilute, apple & forrest fruit i think it was, or was it, i cant remember now.

I am now going to fill in some forms for the garage, spray some grass food and weedkiller on the lawn and set up the hose and the sprinkler thingy.

Then i am going to have half an hour playing on the Forex then its off to work.

Hey thats a point, thats one side of my life that people dont know about....................

I think i might have to do a couple articles about that...............................

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Moving Houses






Hi folks

Sorry theres been no update for a few days, we had the internet disconnected at the rental house and we have only just got internet over here in the new one.

So whats been doing since Calgary.....................

Well we have moved over to the new place and are mostly out of the old place, pretty boring stuff so we'll skip over that, hired a big "UHAUL" truck but it still took us about 4 journeys. Bought a gas (petrol) mower to chew through the jungle that was waiting for us, not saying it was long but we found a basket ball and a couple of pairs of shoes (no feet in them like down in Vancouver) sorry that was a bit uncalled for......................

Anyway we thought we would treat our selves o a new propane barbeque, dirt cheap down at Canadian tire ($140) so jobs a guddun. Well so we thought................

Oh it looks great now but what a pain in the ass to build, and i had to take a part back coz it was busted, anyway 4 hours later and the damn thing was put together, we turned on the gas, hit the starter and fired it up.....................

Now bear in mind it was now 11:00 at night, i was sunburnt and mozzie bitten and Jan was just mozzie bitten, its amazing over here, even the nuts and bolts were scorching hot in the sun as we were building it. Anyway i looked at Jan, Jan looked at me and we thought "sod it", threw a couple of salmon steaks on there and had a late supper.

Anyway back to the part about moving houses, no the title is not about us moving from one address to another address, its about us literally moving a house (Raymond Style).

Okay heres the back ground................

When we bought the house there was a very large play house in the back garden, and the old owners wanted to take it with them, i didnt have a problem with this as we didnt want it and Luke is too old for it anyway.

My plan was to keep well out of the way when he came round for it as i really doubted whether it could be moved. Well as usual i got roped in and was nominated the (placing the trailer Guy) obviously because its what i do for a living.

Darnell (last owner) & family turned up with a posse of eager helpers, his truck and a large trailer, 10 minutes later there was a clatter, a bang, a bit puff of smoke and the forklift driver guy turned up astride his mighty fork lift contraption.

My thoughts were................. "Oh Dear".

The good news is the fire house and hospital are only a few blocks away, so with that thought in mind we got the forks under the playhouse and took the strain, as the house started to sway and distort we decided to strap the thing to the boom to stop it falling off or collapsing.

Well up it went and down the driveway it went but we couldnt get it high enough to lift onto the trailer, then someone had a great idea, lets balance it up some railroad sleepers to get a bit of extra height. By now i was feeling a real part of country town life and very redneck, so much in fact that the whole thing seemed like a great idea.

We got the thing onto the trailer (miraculasly) without any (major) mishaps, waved goodbye to the forklift guy then waved goodbye to Darnell and family as the disapeared off into the Canadian sunset.

I spoke to him again yesterday and he is still working out how to get the thing off the trailer, never mind Darnell, you may have lost a playhouse but you have gained a mobile home. 8¬)

Friday, June 13, 2008

Stranded in Calgary (again)

Dont mess with the mini

Roundabout in Calgary

Imagine rotating those tires on a service

How NOT to negotiate a cloverleaf

A new dohnut from Tim Hortons called

Extreem Hemmorroids (guess which one)



This is one thing that really bugs the crap out of me, waiting to have my time off and being stuck waiting 250 kms from home and waiting for a load to get me back to Lethbridge. Whats more annoying is we are half way through moving house and i am sat here like a prize lemon.

Aaagh !!!

You see there is a conflict of interests here, H&R (quite rightly i guess) wont send me till there is a load coz bobtailling wastes diesel, as does deadhead (running with an empty trailer), there are always runs north and south up and down the southern Province so its just a case of waiting.

And from my point of view "I JUST WANT TO GET HOME DAMMIT"

Wow that feels better, the stress has just eased out, the world took a slight shift sideways, now everything is calm again

Ahh think calm thoughts Lyndon Think calm thoughts...................

Its at times like this i could do with a whale sounds CD and a Tofu salad with green tea.

"No silly" when i said whale sounds i didnt mean sounds of Wales....................

"Here Daffid, is that coat a jaaaket"

or

"Here Boyo whatt're you doin' with that there sheep"

Look im sorry i didnt mean to poke fun at the welsh, in fact i can a very sad story about a welshman.

I walked into a Hostelry back in wales and went up to the bar, sat on a
stool was an old welsh farmer and he was sobbing his poor little heart
out............

I asked him what was wrong and this is what he replied.

You see that road down there to the mill, (i said yes.)

I built that road, all 10 miles with my bare hands, do they call me Jones The
Navigator, NO

You see that barn over there (i said yes)

I built that barn with my bare hands, do they call me Jones The Builder,
NO

You see that vintage sportscar out there,(i said yes)

i salvaged that and rebuilt it with my bare hands, do they call me Jones The
Restorer, NO

So i said"So whats the problem"

With tears in his eyes he looked straight at me and
said....................

"All i did was shag ONE lousey sheep, and now they call me Jones The Sheep
Shagger"

Okay back to the story.......................................

I got in about midnight last night and its now 15:00, and to top it all its Friday 13th, i am not supersisious at all (because thats supposed to be unlucky) but i think my on board computer isnt working correctly so (Hope someone at H&R is listening to this) if i dont get a message soon i am going to start dismantling it to make it better, and i warn you im great at dismantling stuff but lousy at putting stuff together (and this isnt my truck remember!!!)

I sent a sarcastic message earlier (when the computer was working) and i thought i would get a reply back or even at least get told off but nothing, and now im getting bored.

I think everyone else got a load out of here, could i be the last driver in Calgary....................

It'll be getting dark soon...........................

Then what..................................

HELP !!!

What a name for a police officer


Would you really want a cop with a name like this, if it was me i think i would consider changing it.

Its a miracle - He can see again


Teds eyesight has been saved thanks to miricles of modern science (and a pingpong ball cut in half.)
With his new set of peepers, doesnt he just look like the creature driving on my map, i think it could be him

Thanks for the help!!

Thank you to everyone who sent me a scanned copy of the article in the magasine i really do appreciate it.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Please help !!!

i ve heared i was mentioned in Truck & Driver magazine, dunno how true it is, could anyone confirm this and if they have could someone scan and send me the mention, article or whatever it is.

We dont get the mag over here....................

if this infringes any copyrights then lease note that this blog site does not condone any form of copyright and please disregard any of the above.

(Ssshhh, but send it anyway !!!)

All dressed up and no place to go

Got into Winnipeg yesterday morning, 10 days in the saddle and contented although more than a little tired. This trip as been hard work, all late loads then trying to fight back onto schedule, driving the max, resting the min, doing what you can to do what you do.

Made the delivery an hour early, got tipped and went round for a trailer swap, as i got to the cross dock the job got cancelled, got another message to skip round to our yard in Winipeg, drop the trailer and wait.

I did this...........

An hour later got a message to re-pick up the trailer and drive an hour to Portage, make a collection and take it to Edmonton.

Went to Portage..................

Security told me someone was already on the door being loaded with my load.

Phoned in...............................

Got told it was double booked and to go back to Winnipeg for a job tomorrow.

Went back to Winnipeg..............

Am i pissed off ???????????/

Nope .................

Why ?????????

Dunno .........

Why dont you know ?????????

Dunno .........

Why not ????????

Dunno .................

Sorry folks that was going no-where, i hate it when i talk to my self, i never get a straight answer.

Any hoo, i got up this morning after pushing out a few hundred weight of zeds, bright eyed and and bushy tailed (aagh, ive turned into a squirrel overnight) only joking.

I went in for breakfast at the "Hook" and it was really nice, no not the food silly, thats crap as usual, the atmosphere. There was only a few of us in there and i had the breakfast buffet, i had canadian bacon, pile of sausages, denver egg, scrambled egg. french toast, shredded potato and a few cups of coffee.

No, what was really nice was the atmosphere, a real diner atmosphere, just as it should be. The waitress came round balancing a tray, a menu, coffee and a cloth, she was a little rough round the edges and smelt of cheap 80's perfume, the little coffee spill was deftly mopped without dropping the tray or coffee and she was smiling.

The radio was belting out an old 80's song "I only wanna be with you", now who sung that origionally, i know Sam Fox warbled her way thru it at some stage but who did the song really belong to..............

The next song "Clouds in my coffee" another favourite of mine, again taking me back to a time forgotten...................

Staring out of the window, a field way over the distance, a bull earning his keep way off in the distance"Someones up bright and early" I mused.

Then with a wry smile i thought "Enjoy it while you can buddy, you might be on a BBQ this time next week"

It was then i got a whiff of the cheap perfume again, the smiley waitress was back with more coffee, dunno how long she had been stood there, i was away back in the 80's, she smiled, i smiled, she poured, i drank, she left.

Its the way things should be, i feel comfortable, happy. So much has happened since the 80's, the Army, The Falklands, Iraq, Marriage, Children, humdrum in England, moving to Canada.

And have i got any regrets, you know, about any of it............

Yes, but only one ........................

I wanna do it all over again, exactly the same, every last damn minute of it................................

Monday, June 9, 2008

Wheres Lyndon - 014

Im hoping this one is a little more difficult.

Come on Mr Gorgone, give it your best shot.

Ridin' the Lightnin'

Check out the lightning bolt towards the end

Storm Chasin'




Well im back in rainy Canada, Winnipeg to be more precise. Have a look at what i had to drive thru to get here.

This was in the Dakotas !!!

Glad he's not a cattle hauler


Incidently, anyone know where i took this picture ???

Thursday, June 5, 2008

After this trip


okay by the time i get back to Canada, these will be the States & Provinces visited in just about 10 months work.................

Perfect driving record


I am so jealous of this driver, he must be the perfect professional, he never gets any complaints against him !!!!!

Yesterday i committed a double feathery murder


Yep i hate to say it but 2 birds tried to headbutt me through the windshield and failed, the first one just rickocheted off into the Texas scrub land but the second one was a direct hit, right in the middle of the glass. The blood splattered the whole pane and the wipers just smeared it.

I never realised so much blood could come out of such a little bird, there was blood snot and feathers everywhere.

I felt so guilty at what had happened that i had to go and buy a t-shirt in their honour.

They never had names so i gave them names !!!

Rest in Peace Splat and Ding....................................

Brothers of the Highway - Children of the Wind







Awoke next morning and headed to San Antonio crossing the State line into Texas about 2 hours into the journey. One thing surprised me about Texas, there seems to be a steady warm wind blowing all the time, a bit like the Chinook in Alberta but it never stops. They eat a lot of Chilli-beans down here so I wander if its connected.

Stopped off at a shop and bought the latest George Strait (see title) and the latest Big & Rich albums, I also got an audio book called "11th month, 11th day, 11th hour" by Joseph E Persico. It’s a 5 disc book about the last hour of WW1 from the point of view of the average soldier.

What a fantastic book, even in the last 30 minutes of the war, the officers knew the armictice had been signed but still sent thousands to their deaths, they were looking for last minute glory, career advancement and even promotion, wow that made my blood boil.

A regiment of black "Doughboys" sent over the top when everyone else was stood down. Its really made me see the Allied Top Brass in a different light, to them it was a giant game of Chess, to the foot soldier in the trench (British, American, Canadian, Australian, Kiwi, German, Austrian, French) we just cannot even begin to imagine…………………….

Read it or listen to it if you get the chance.

Anyway back to the story……………………………………

Driving across Texas to San Antonio was never ending, eventually got to the TA and pulled the curtains, heck I slept well.

Next morning I woke up, made the bed and opened the curtains, and was greeted by a sight that made me sick to the very pit of my stomach……………………

It was a Lot Lizard walking (lurching towards the truck) and it was the roughest thing I have ever seen that could stand on 2 legs. The lipstick was worn off, the make up smudged and she must have had a busy night because she squelched when she walked. And it looked as though she had somehow got some icecream stuck in her hair.

And she walked up to the cab and tapped on the door, I could see the lips moving but I couldn’t hear what It was saying as the window was up (tightly). I just shook my head at what ever she was saying, her response was a hand gesture to lower the window, this I did to about 2 inches.

She asked me if I wanted any company, smiling at the preposterous thought I shook my head again and said no.

Then an amazing thing happened, she asked me to buy her a soda. I couldn’t help laughing, here she is turning tricks all night, obviously been a busy little tinker and she wants be to buy her a soda.

If she's got a dry throat then…………………….. Actually no, lets not even go there !!!

Well after squelchy had slithered off, I fuelled up and headed down to Laredo, got down there and made the delivery.

After that I went back to the Flying J and got 2 hours sleep then got a phone call from American dispatch saying scoot over to Hooooo-ston and get the Moon Pickles.

Well after another night in a turnout I turned up at the Port, Freeport but I only found one, and discovered my load wont be ready till tomorrow.

The last little leg of today was me driving round here to a truck stop on the middle of Hillbilly land with 24 hours to spare, no hot food and an over active imagination.

Tomorrow I collect bananas and take them back t Winnipeg, this is one interesting trip, and I've added New Mexico (sorry again H&R) Texas, Colorado, Oklahoma & Kansas to my list of States visited.

Wyoming, Cheyenne & Koogs



Captains Log Star-date 2162:

Today was the first day back after a week of family reunions, eating huge steaks, tons of ribs, drinking beer, playing host to Graham (Gremmie), drinking more beer, eating my own weight in buffalo wings, cutting grass, playing with moose horns (antler thingies) more beer, more steak, visiting local sights, cutting grass and taking photos.

2148 was still poorly so I was assigned to 2162 (another Cascadia) and told to go down to that there Mexico and give 'em some cow meat. Now that sounded great for me ( my apologies to the regular driver of 2162, I've put 9,000 kms on yer truck) and Jan and I were eagerely throwing my gear in the back.

I very nice shiny SUV pulled up and out jumped D'arcy Foder (Hi D'arcy), he came over and had a chat for a while, mostly about our new house and he got introduced to Claire & Andy who were preoccupied climbing all over the truck and taking the usual photos, one behind the wheel and one stood by the fender.

Eventually it was time to get my trailer and take it up to Calgary where I was doing a trailer swap and take an empty down to the meat plant so I could get my "in-bond" load. This is where the plan went askew, the load was ready but not the paperwork.

04:00 next morning and I was on my way back to Lethbridge to get the ACE manifest cleared, this would take 2 hours so it was sleepy bo-bos time and I got 2 hours.

Heres an inteligence test for all of you, to prove that your brain is capable of thought and movement at the same time, not everyone can do this.

Here is what you do:

Stand up straight and put your arms on your hips like a chicken.
Slowly flap your arms like a chicken.
At the same time spelling out BOBO.
This as to be done while amongst a group of people (preferably strangers)

Remember not everyone can do this.

Okay back to the plot:

Headed down to Sweetgrass, crossed the border, no meat inspection to worry about, and headed south.

As I thought about my route down I thought hang on, I got to go passed Cheyenne and I know someone who lives in Cheyenne, Warren from KOOG & BOOTS fame. For those of you who don’t know him, Warren is a lad from Manchester who came over to Canada about 20 months ago to work for Kindersley out of Saskatoon, he started a blog site which was the inspiration for this one and he also used to contribute on the Expat forums.

This is really where I got a lot of my information in those early days and I nearly joined Kindersley as that was the only company I knew anything about. As a matter of fact got called for an interview but H&R got in there first, anyway that’s all history now.

Anyway I planned to meet up with him at the end of his shift, after I had scooted to the other side of town to fuel up at the TA and we met up for a coffee and a chat, we've been corresponding on the forums and blogs for nearly 2 years and never met up. Anyway Warren, great to meet up with you at last, see I kept my promise and offered you lunch.

Anyway, due to operational necessity ( loads of miles and not much time to do it in) I had to make a hasty departure and soon I was heading south again. This trip wasn’t going to be one of the comfortable truckstop ones, I was pushing it to the last minute and parking where I could, that first night I got into a turn out (just about) and shut down for 10 hours.

Next morning it was more of the same except when it dropped dark I somehow got on the wrong road. I knew I was near the southern Colorado border and I was expecting to see "Welcome to Oklahoma" but the one I found was "Welcome to New Mexico" My first thought was "Which idiot put the wrong sign there"

My second thought was "Oops I missed Oklahoma", only by a few miles though. I crossed the border and headed East as soon as I could, ending up in a one horse town parked up on some waste ground and I could feel a tooth ache coming on. The town looked as rough as a badger's ass but I was left alone and got a good nights sleep………………………..

What are Moon Pickles

Space Bananas first discovered by 3rd reich


Banana caught in solar flare giving appearance of yellow skin




Reference my last post about "Moon Pickles"

ah yes, i do know that normal pickles are called monkey pickles but these are not normal, they come from Houston, Texas. You know the place, they shoot people into space, let them float about a bit, then bring them back.

In the sixties they (allegedly) sent a big rocket up there and managed to hit the moon with one, the driver (One Neil Armstrong) fell asleep at the wheel and hit it.

After listening to his first excuse of "it just jumped out in front of me" was disregarded by NASA hierarchy as "just not good enough".

And his consequent second excuse "It was dark" failed to impress (trust me I know, ive tried that one too, read my last post about New Mexico).

It was decided that the only way to save face was to pretend that this was the plan all along and they called it the "Loonie Landing" as he was part Canadian on his fathers, cousins, next-door neighbours dogs side. After this title line was disproved after it was discovered that the dog was indeed adopted and the landing was renamed the "Lunar Landing", Lunar being something to do with the moon apparently.

So what's this got to do with Pickles I hear you ask, well dear reader its all about conspiracy theories and government cover-ups, and Patagonian sabre toothed fighting penguins.

Okay here is the real "Skinny".

That mission was really a top secret exploratory mission to look at the possibility of growing (and harvesting) the space bananas or "Moon Pickles" which would require some sort of re-useable space vehicle that could be sent up there and fetch them back. Why else would we need the space shuttles, indeed the origional name of this craft (the space banana shuttle) proves this theory which is why the name was shortened.

Has anyone ever heared the famous quote " Hoo-ston we have a problem"

This transcript was actually cut short and the rest of the tape destroyed to keep this clandestine operation secret. It was all to do with axle weights, the origional landing site for the Space Banana Shuttle (read Space Shuttle) was to be an airstrip complex between Port Hueneme and Ventura in California, running parallel with the SR-126 and hidden in the valley.

The "problem" in question was the Space shuttle design, on the rear under carriage it is a double bogey which n California DOT Law constitutes a tandem axle which means when it lands it can only have a 34,000 lbs axle weight, the front under carriage (steerable) is classed as a single steerable axle and is limited to 12,000 lbs.

The problem was scaling off in outer space with zero gravity was proving to be very inaccurate, in fact even with a full load the scale needle barely moved, however back down on earth it was a different matter, and the shuttle was not equipped with sliding rear bogeys, another problem was the landing speed which was a little over the 55 mph speed limit in California for Commercial Vehicles.

This is how the original transcript read:

"Breaker Break, Hoo-ston we dun got ourselves a problem here, the shits gonna hit the fan bro, ah flew in outta the big blue and as I skimmed the hill in Santa C there was a diesel bear in the sage grass an he shot me in the back, ahm hittin' triple dime not double dime and that bears got my picture for sure, for sure when my ass hits on the super slab the Christmas lights will come on, and ill get a ticket for sure.

Hell im not here for this shit, were hammer down and were gone, hee haw eat mah dust ya stinkin' smokey".

And Neil was gone……………………………………..

Well that was that, the end of the Santa Clarita project, as part of the cover up they built a Roller Coaster resort over the site (which is still there today) and all subsequent landings were made at a place called Freeport Texas which coincidently is located right next door to Hoo-ston Texas.

This brings me on to the present day operation, Neil kept his job but got 5 demerits on his licence and is still part of the "Pickle Crew" or as they are affectionately now known as "Picklenauts".

Each week the Picklenauts go up and collect the moon pickles, there are special zero gravity Space Chicken Coups that now weigh the loads correctly, first 2 skids on double, second on single and doubled to the doors. There's a space walk planned every 24 hours to check pulp temps and the hold steady at 59 degrees Frankenstein (Continuous Running).

The only difference now between moon pickles and monkey pickles is the color, monkey pickles (as I'm sure you are aware) are yellow and moon pickles are light blue.

The great North American Public would find light blue pickles unappetising so there is a Pickle Painting Plant on the I-36 just West of Freeport. This plant is manned by specially smuggled in Mexican Mountain People who are all rendered "mute" shortly after arriving in the country, this is an added security measure to keep this project secret, although I do have it on good authority that some of them are learning sign language.

They apply a special yellow dye individually to each pickle using brushes made from the nasal hairs plucked directly from a very special creature, the Patagonian sabre toothed fighting penguin, obtaining these hairs is a very dangerous job indeed and many Mexican Mountain People have lost limbs or even lives harvesting these bristles.

So what I am saying here is that the public is being lied to, the mere existence of moon pickles is being denied at government level, they want us to believe that our own yellow "Monkey Pickles" are the only pickles in the universe. It’s a well documented fact that all earth based pickle plants are in fact barren (Google it if you don’t believe me, and the only way earth pickles can be grown is by artificial cross fertilization, I think they use like little turkey basters…………………

But in any case, earths supply is not sustainable…………………………………………………………………..

By the way, does anyone out there think got too much time on my hands ????????????

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

"Houston-We dont have a problem"

Hi everyone

Its Wed afternoon, haven had internet or time to post, the load was late coming from shipper so it was a race against time to get to Laredo, tried to get a few hours sleep but i just got a message to get to Houston Texas for some special space bananas (Moon Pickles), so its all go.

I met someone most of you have heared of, took some great pics, met some really nasty "Lot Lizards" (yuk) and parked in some less than desireable places, oh yes and got lost (went into New Mexico, sorry H&R, not my fault it was dark) !!!

Its all been hapening but you will have to wait for the details, moon pickles wait for no man ???

Anyone who has emailed me, please be patient i will get back to you as soon as i can, temperature is a freezing 46 degrees celery and its time to turn some diesel into smoke and kill a bit more ozone.

See you all in Houston.

This is Major Tom signing off...................

Its a small step for a Canadian trucking company,
But a large step for mankind, eh?

Catch ya'll in Hooo-ston, be good y'hear ...................................